Posts tagged joy

The Hidden Gift?

I’m back now from my vacation in Alaska and California, where I experienced deep JOY — and also complete CONFUSION.

There was JOY in being with my dear Alaskan sister Coowe (left), who I love and miss very much.

And JOY in going on a 5 hour horseback expedition with her — even though I hadn’t ridden a horse since I was 12 (and I was scared of horses Pamela on horseback in Alaskathen).  This time it was exhilarating to canter across the tidal flats!

There was JOY too in savoring fresh California peaches, watching the fog roll into San Francisco Bay, and connecting with heart friends and family I hadn’t seen in ages.

I even found JOY trying to sleep on an air mattress that kept collapsing!  (Eventually you just have to giggle and accept sleeping on the floor…)

However I found it much harder to accept the profound CONFUSION I felt talking to 2 estranged sisters.

Sister A told me that Sister B rejected her and stopped talking to her over some slights from childhood. Sounded plausible enough….

Then Sister B told me Sister A wasn’t normal and wouldn’t communicate no matter how hard Sister B tried. Sister B really seemed really believable — but her account contained shocking revelations.

My head swam:  How can this be??  It goes against everything I’ve been told… But my gut feels she’s right…
The cognitive dissonance was so strong I literally couldn’t think

And it reminded me of 2 earlier experiences where I’d been stunned by new information that called into doubt everything I’d believed (and wanted to believe)…

Then on my first day back home, IT HAPPENED AGAIN!  

 I experienced the exact same mental CONFUSION — “How can this be??” — when someone at my bank confidently gave me wrong information about a disputed bill.  Panicked, I acted on it, only to discover later that there was a completely different (and more plausible) interpretation of the facts.

I felt quite chagrined. “OK, what’s going on…” I wondered.

(Could it had something to do with wanting to see only the positive in people and trust them?  And my impatience and impulsiveness?)

I decided I’d better ask myself a powerful question:

“What is the hidden GIFT or lesson here?”

If you have any ‘negative’ patterns of your own, this question is great to work with.

And what I uncovered was so unexpectedly beautiful,  I want to share it with you:

Direct from my private journal

Notes: “TG” = “Trusted Guidance,” what I call my soul’s voice in me. “Alignment” = process to quickly create deep & lasting change on a subconscious level.

Pamela Moss PamelaCan you tell me about the lessons & gifts from these 2 experiences?

soul guide symbol by Pamela Moss TG:  Of course. You already intuit the lesson/gift: as you step into deeper trust and connection, it must be balanced with deeper discernment & appropriate boundaries. You cannot serve at a higher level without this. In the bigger picture, everything is about balance and right order.

P: Great. So is the best way to get this discernment to do an alignment?

TG: Are you open and willing now to be discerning and to set appropriate boundaries — by checking in with your own guidance system?

P. Yes, I’m finally ready & willing, for the first time in my life, I think.

TG: Then you may do the deep magic [= alignment]. Do it now.

P: OK!  [joyous]

P: My Goal/belief statement:  I now claim my powers of discernment to see warning signs & inconsistencies in others’ behavior and communication. My heart is open, & so are my eyes, & my third eye — I now have the clarity & will to set appropriate boundaries & to speak to the hidden lie, as an expression of divine love & personal power. I am an adult & can & do take care of myself.

[I select an alignment called “Sacred Object”, where you look around to see an object that stands out to you: it has a message for you. You look at it until you receive/intuit/imagine the message.]

What immediately jumps out at me is a lamp without a shade, just a bare energy-efficient bulb. It is very bright.

As I gaze at it I see it has 2 coils, and is too bright to look at easily, just a bright blob. But as I keep looking I realize: “I CAN discern the details, more and more, the more I look.”

I get the message: “You are like this coil and this lamp.”

The more I look, the more clearly I can see the details of the coil, and also the distinct aura around it.  The after-image creates a blind spot before my eyes — but I can see through it, too, as I write. The lamp base is tall and curvy. This lamp is shining brightly, a beacon. And it stands alone.

I get the message: “I have learned my lesson from Brian [my husband, a quite discerning & cautious man]. I have received the gift from him. I am now ready to stand alone.

[The alignment is complete.]

Final message: “The soul contract Brian and I have with one another is complete.

P: I’m curious — why am I crying?

TG: Release of emotions, letting go.  Let it flow.

[I do, and soon the emotion is gone, leaving a feeling of satisfaction about the work Brian and I have done. “Well done” is the message.]

After doing this alignment, I understood the cognitive dissonance I’d been experiencing: 

Perception is everything, and without balance my mis-perceptions cause a domino effect that leaves me overwhelmed, shut down, and to grasping to be in the moment.

Choose Your Path

The Magic of Gratitude and the Power of Choice

Yesterday I woke up very early, feeling full of fear and doubt. I lay in bed trying to calm myself down, trying to figuring out what I was afraid of and why I couldn’t relax and go back to sleep…. Boy, that sure didn’t help.

Finally I got up to do some journaling with my “trusted guidance,” which is the voice my soul uses to talk to me.  And what happened was so remarkable that I want to share it with you:

Direct from my private journal

Pamela Moss Pamela: I’m feeling fear and doubt and can’t sleep. Dear TG [trusted guidance], can you help? What’s going on? It even seems hard to connect with you…

soul guide symbol by Pamela Moss TG: It seems so. It is not.

P:  So please help me. What’s going on? What do I need to do to go back to sleep?

TG: You know the answer. Sometimes this fear and doubt is just an automatic reaction of your mind. You do not need to  ‘figure it out,’ it is simply a matter of being willing.  Are you willing to experience the profound love,  joy, peace, and harmony that is in your heart right now and always?

P: I want to say yes, but…

TG: What is the ‘but’? What do you have to lose?

P: I think it is a fear of trusting – feeling I must make something happen, I can’t just ‘trust’…

TG: Is that true?

P: No, I could just trust. I am doing all I can to make things happen, and they are happening… I just wish it were easier…

TG: It is easier. You have choice on what to focus on. You are arguing for your smallness and the Illusion. Wake up!

P: Thank you. I am awake.

TGReally wake up! Choose what you want.

P:  What I really want? [A rush of deep feeling…]  I want to love God – purely and completely. I choose to give my heart and my life to serve God in all forms Love leads me to. I choose to be authentic. I choose to be brave. I choose compassion for the human condition we are all born into — and I choose delight that I can divine love and harmony anytime I choose to.  

        I choose to expect goodness — what fun!  I am really taking that one on right now. I can’t wait to see what happens today; there are several beautiful opportunities that I know of, and I choose to expect unexpected goodness, too – surprise me!  Thank you, thank you!

      I choose the freedom to focus on all that is right, rather than what is wrong. I choose gratitude – I’m so grateful to have the capacity to choose! (And I choose to acknowledge David Mumm of PowerLearn.us for reminding me of the power of choice and his alphabetical affirmations. Thank you David!)

      I choose to trust that you are always there, dear TG, to guide and protect me. I choose that life is a magical adventure. I choose that it is in the highest and best good for all, especially me, to allow myself to trust, to love, and to enjoy the adventure!  I know everything can change in an instant for the better, anytime I choose. Thank you for that miracle!  

      And now I see the gift in my sleeplessness and fear and doubt – another opportunity to practice choosing, and experience this liberation. Thank you!!

TG: Can you now choose to trust that all is truly well, and go back to sleep?

P: I don’t know, I’ll check in with myself to see…

TG: NO, we ask: can you choose it?

P: Yes I can choose it.

TG: Is there any reason not to?

P: [on reflection] No. I choose to trust that all is truly well (and has been, and will be.) I choose as an act of trust to allow myself to relax and fall back to sleep – without effort or trying, just relaxing into the beauty and gratitude of choosing to trust. Thank you. I feel moved! 

And now I am moving myself back up to bed…  [Slept more soundly than I had in days, awoke totally refreshed, had a wonderful day.]

What is going on here?

On a profound level we are all, worldwide, at work on piercing through the veil of  Illusion (fear, doubt, shame, hatred, prejudice, all forms of separation) to remember our true unity and essential nature — the love, light and joy that glows like a jewel in our hearts. Every time each of us awakens to this truth we strengthen the energetic Grid of Light that helps us all grow, heal and evolve.

One of the easiest and most powerful ways to see through the Illusion right NOW is to combine the magic of gratitude and the power of choice.

You can do this as simply as 1, 2, 3:

STEP 1. Scan your thoughts, feeling, and body sensations to notice what is already there.

STEP 2. If what you notice does NOT make you feel good, tell yourself  “I am willing to experience something better” and see if you can allow that to be true. (If you can’t, just notice you’re not willing right now. You can always ask “please help me to be willing,” or try again later.)

STEP 3. If you are willing, actively CHOOSE it now. Write or say aloud, “I choose life is an adventure. I choose to be brave. I choose to be caring.” Feel the truth of each statement as you say it. (This shifts us from fear-and-struggle mode into Love, and changes our perception of reality in a moment).

Bonus: You can strengthen this shift by going through the alphabet — for each letter choose a virtue or possibility that enlivens you, and CHOOSE it. For example:

I choose now (or today) to be:

  • A   authentic
  • B   brave
  •   compassionate
  • D   divining love & harmony
  • E    expecting goodness
  • F    forgiving myself & others
  •   grateful

Try it out, and tell me what happens!

sunflowerAnd if you’re on Facebook, I invite you to join us in sharing what you are grateful for & what you are choosing!

http://www.facebook.com/possibilitypam

It’s truly inspiring and uplifting to participate in this 365 Days of Gratitude movement, even if you only read what others write…

And I’d love to hear from YOU.

With love and blessings,

Pamela's signature

Dr. Pamela Moss, The Soul Guide

There are 2 major mistakes we tend to make — and they drain away our energy and joy each day.

They both involve tolerating conditions that really bother us.

My friend and former client Martha came over recently and pointed out an irony I’ve long tried to ignore: “Pam, you’re all about light and clarity in your work, and yet you live in a dark and cluttered house. What’s up with that?”

I could feel my face flush, like I’d been caught doing something nasty.

And, I realized, it IS nasty to live in conditions that pull me down every single day, when my work is about lifting people up — especially when I tell myself it’s the fault of my family members that I ‘have to’ live like this. (Then I resent these people I love, and feel hopeless…) Yuck!

Amazing what we’ll tolerate until something wakes us up…  Only then do we realize its true cost in lost energy, lost love (sorry family!), and lost joy (a cluttered environment makes me feel grumpy and anxious). And only that realization gives us the courage to finally DO SOMETHING about it.

Thanks to Martha, I’m finally doing something about the clutter and darkness that’ve been bugging me for over 9 years — getting rid of boxes of stuff we don’t need, reorganizing, letting more light in, and creating a beautiful, inspiring home office to work with my local clients.

It feels so liberating, I can’t believe I waited so long!

So what are you tolerating in YOUR life?  What is draining your energy and joy, and leaving you feeling uninspired, tired, overwhelmed, irritable, or hopeless?

Two places to look:

* Mistake # 1: accepting intolerable (for you) conditions around you — clutter in your home or work space (if you don’t love it &/or use it, it’s clutter); a job or relationship that stiffles you; no time in your schedule to nourish yourself with reflection, pleasure, and rest; lack of support or negativity from people around you

*Mistake #2: accepting intolerable (for you) conditions in you — judgmental thoughts about yourself or others; emotions of anxiety, envy, guilt, shame, or self-pity; health problems; build-up of stress and lack of self-care/ways to manage it

Now, what can you do about it?

Usually the answer involves getting the support you need to make the changes you want. If I hadn’t hired Martha, I would still be stuck with huge amounts of clutter and living and work spaces that drain my energy. I’m so grateful for her fresh vision and do-able steps!

You probably know it’s important to surround yourself with people who support and inspire you, and bring out the best in you — people who see new possibilities where you see only energy drains and frustration.

Unfortunately those closest to you, your family and friends, usually can’t do this. (Typically they’re part of the problem, and can only add friction and drama to your sense of overwhelm.)

The support you desire is more likely to come in the form of mentors or coaches who “get you” and truly have your best interest at heart.  I personally have a decluttering/interior redesign coach (Martha Kinney), a spiritual coach (Ravi Walsh), and two business mastermind groups that I belong to.  I wouldn’t be where I am without them.

So choose wisely! Be very discerning about where you invest your precious time and energy.  Stop tolerating conditions and relationships that don’t work.  Begin to invest more time with people who feed and inspire you, and less time with those who don’t — in every area of your life.  Your life will quickly change for the better!

 

Have feedback or comments?  I’d love to hear — please comment below.

'Status' Post | By on August 17, 2011

Have you noticed?  There’s a gap between how ‘enlightened’ we are — and what we actually do.

There are things we do that we know sap our energy, waste time, and/or make us unhappy.  (Anyone else guilty of checking email or Facebook multiple times a day?)

And there are things we DON’T do that we know would make us feel happier, more productive, and energized. (Regular exercise or meditation, anyone?)

We have lots of excuses…. But enough already! Life is short.

Here’s a simple way to close the gap right now:

6 Simple Steps to your own ‘#1 Thing’ to be More Productive and Joyful

1. Brainstorm:  what’s the 1 thing you could STOP doing that would really make your life work better? (You already know, or have some some pretty good ideas…)

Examples:

  • Checking email or FB multiple times a day;
  • drinking a lot of soda;
  • staying on the computer right up until bedtime;
  • piling all the mail on the table ‘to go through later’

2. How might you express this as a practice? A practice is something you do regularly — daily or weekly etc. — because it makes your life work better. (You’re not committing to anything yet, jes’ thinkin’…)

Examples:

  • Check email & FB just 3 times/day;
  • drink bubbly water instead of soda;
  • get off computer at least an hour before bed;
  • toss all  junk mail into recycling as it arrives

3. How can you make this practice very specific? Add times, places, dates — so it’s clear exactly what happens when.  (Otherwise, it’s unlikely to happen at all.)

Examples:

  • check email/FB for first time at 11 AM, then 3 PM & 8 PM;
  • give away soda supply at work tomorrow and only buy bubbly water from now on;
  • get off the computer by 10:30 PM each night;
  • as bring mail in each day, sort into recycling/ bills/ misc., & toss junk into recycling bin

4. What structures or support will you need to make this happen?

Examples:

  • sticky note on my computer with my ‘check email’ times;
  • tell folks at work what I’m doing, and put all the sodas in my car tonight to take to work;
  • set alarms on my computer or phone to get off by 10:30;
  • tell my partner what I’m doing;
  • put recycling bin under the table where I’ll see it;
  • put sign up;
  • make a daily checklist to chart my progress

5. What is your “noble intent” for this practice? (This is the big picture of why you’re doing it, what inspires you)

Examples:

  • take control of my inbox and what I give my attention to;
  • take control of my health and be a good example to my grandkids;
  • create special ‘me time’ or ‘us time’ each night before bed;
  • bring order and clarity to our household;
  • turn my bedroom into sacred space

6. Will you commit to do this practice now? If yes, put in the structures you came up with so it happens!  If no: how can you make it smaller, faster, easier so you’re willing to take it on?  Even a little step in the right direction will free you up.

You can also follow the same steps to START a new practice that would make your life work better.

examples:

  • Journal for 30 minutes on Tuesday evenings and Sunday mornings;
  • start my day 5x/week with 45 minutes of stretching & exercise;
  • meditate for 20 minutes each morning;
  • do bills & paperwork every Monday afternoon at 4 while I listen to great music.
  • do 1 thing I’ve been putting off each Thursday morning before I do anything else

I teach this simple strategy to my private clients and participants in  my Grow Your Dreams Intensive, and use it myself –  this week I’m STOPPING staying on the computer late (off by 10 PM) and STARTING journaling twice a week (Tues. and Sunday). It really makes a difference!

Love to hear what YOU think; please comment below and I’ll reply.

Love and light,
Pamela

'Status' Post | By on July 13, 2011

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