Posts tagged support

The 3 Critical Keys: Your Circle of Support

Three Critical Keys To Success Video Series

Video Three: Circle of Support

Click here to return to Video 2: Removing Resistance

 

 

 

Please share your comments!

 

There are 2 major mistakes we tend to make — and they drain away our energy and joy each day.

They both involve tolerating conditions that really bother us.

My friend and former client Martha came over recently and pointed out an irony I’ve long tried to ignore: “Pam, you’re all about light and clarity in your work, and yet you live in a dark and cluttered house. What’s up with that?”

I could feel my face flush, like I’d been caught doing something nasty.

And, I realized, it IS nasty to live in conditions that pull me down every single day, when my work is about lifting people up — especially when I tell myself it’s the fault of my family members that I ‘have to’ live like this. (Then I resent these people I love, and feel hopeless…) Yuck!

Amazing what we’ll tolerate until something wakes us up…  Only then do we realize its true cost in lost energy, lost love (sorry family!), and lost joy (a cluttered environment makes me feel grumpy and anxious). And only that realization gives us the courage to finally DO SOMETHING about it.

Thanks to Martha, I’m finally doing something about the clutter and darkness that’ve been bugging me for over 9 years — getting rid of boxes of stuff we don’t need, reorganizing, letting more light in, and creating a beautiful, inspiring home office to work with my local clients.

It feels so liberating, I can’t believe I waited so long!

So what are you tolerating in YOUR life?  What is draining your energy and joy, and leaving you feeling uninspired, tired, overwhelmed, irritable, or hopeless?

Two places to look:

* Mistake # 1: accepting intolerable (for you) conditions around you — clutter in your home or work space (if you don’t love it &/or use it, it’s clutter); a job or relationship that stiffles you; no time in your schedule to nourish yourself with reflection, pleasure, and rest; lack of support or negativity from people around you

*Mistake #2: accepting intolerable (for you) conditions in you — judgmental thoughts about yourself or others; emotions of anxiety, envy, guilt, shame, or self-pity; health problems; build-up of stress and lack of self-care/ways to manage it

Now, what can you do about it?

Usually the answer involves getting the support you need to make the changes you want. If I hadn’t hired Martha, I would still be stuck with huge amounts of clutter and living and work spaces that drain my energy. I’m so grateful for her fresh vision and do-able steps!

You probably know it’s important to surround yourself with people who support and inspire you, and bring out the best in you — people who see new possibilities where you see only energy drains and frustration.

Unfortunately those closest to you, your family and friends, usually can’t do this. (Typically they’re part of the problem, and can only add friction and drama to your sense of overwhelm.)

The support you desire is more likely to come in the form of mentors or coaches who “get you” and truly have your best interest at heart.  I personally have a decluttering/interior redesign coach (Martha Kinney), a spiritual coach (Ravi Walsh), and two business mastermind groups that I belong to.  I wouldn’t be where I am without them.

So choose wisely! Be very discerning about where you invest your precious time and energy.  Stop tolerating conditions and relationships that don’t work.  Begin to invest more time with people who feed and inspire you, and less time with those who don’t — in every area of your life.  Your life will quickly change for the better!

 

Have feedback or comments?  I’d love to hear — please comment below.

'Status' Post | By on August 17, 2011

Have you noticed?  There’s a gap between how ‘enlightened’ we are — and what we actually do.

There are things we do that we know sap our energy, waste time, and/or make us unhappy.  (Anyone else guilty of checking email or Facebook multiple times a day?)

And there are things we DON’T do that we know would make us feel happier, more productive, and energized. (Regular exercise or meditation, anyone?)

We have lots of excuses…. But enough already! Life is short.

Here’s a simple way to close the gap right now:

6 Simple Steps to your own ‘#1 Thing’ to be More Productive and Joyful

1. Brainstorm:  what’s the 1 thing you could STOP doing that would really make your life work better? (You already know, or have some some pretty good ideas…)

Examples:

  • Checking email or FB multiple times a day;
  • drinking a lot of soda;
  • staying on the computer right up until bedtime;
  • piling all the mail on the table ‘to go through later’

2. How might you express this as a practice? A practice is something you do regularly — daily or weekly etc. — because it makes your life work better. (You’re not committing to anything yet, jes’ thinkin’…)

Examples:

  • Check email & FB just 3 times/day;
  • drink bubbly water instead of soda;
  • get off computer at least an hour before bed;
  • toss all  junk mail into recycling as it arrives

3. How can you make this practice very specific? Add times, places, dates — so it’s clear exactly what happens when.  (Otherwise, it’s unlikely to happen at all.)

Examples:

  • check email/FB for first time at 11 AM, then 3 PM & 8 PM;
  • give away soda supply at work tomorrow and only buy bubbly water from now on;
  • get off the computer by 10:30 PM each night;
  • as bring mail in each day, sort into recycling/ bills/ misc., & toss junk into recycling bin

4. What structures or support will you need to make this happen?

Examples:

  • sticky note on my computer with my ‘check email’ times;
  • tell folks at work what I’m doing, and put all the sodas in my car tonight to take to work;
  • set alarms on my computer or phone to get off by 10:30;
  • tell my partner what I’m doing;
  • put recycling bin under the table where I’ll see it;
  • put sign up;
  • make a daily checklist to chart my progress

5. What is your “noble intent” for this practice? (This is the big picture of why you’re doing it, what inspires you)

Examples:

  • take control of my inbox and what I give my attention to;
  • take control of my health and be a good example to my grandkids;
  • create special ‘me time’ or ‘us time’ each night before bed;
  • bring order and clarity to our household;
  • turn my bedroom into sacred space

6. Will you commit to do this practice now? If yes, put in the structures you came up with so it happens!  If no: how can you make it smaller, faster, easier so you’re willing to take it on?  Even a little step in the right direction will free you up.

You can also follow the same steps to START a new practice that would make your life work better.

examples:

  • Journal for 30 minutes on Tuesday evenings and Sunday mornings;
  • start my day 5x/week with 45 minutes of stretching & exercise;
  • meditate for 20 minutes each morning;
  • do bills & paperwork every Monday afternoon at 4 while I listen to great music.
  • do 1 thing I’ve been putting off each Thursday morning before I do anything else

I teach this simple strategy to my private clients and participants in  my Grow Your Dreams Intensive, and use it myself –  this week I’m STOPPING staying on the computer late (off by 10 PM) and STARTING journaling twice a week (Tues. and Sunday). It really makes a difference!

Love to hear what YOU think; please comment below and I’ll reply.

Love and light,
Pamela

'Status' Post | By on July 13, 2011

This site is protected by Comment SPAM Wiper.