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Illuminate your money mindset (for spiritual entrepreneurs)

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An Uncomfortable Conversation

A few years ago, I went on an underworld journey. I went unwillingly (sobbing, terrified and furious!) as I descended into debt and left my beloved community behind to start over.

Turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to me. I learned so much in that dark time about money, spirituality and self worth: SOURCE is my source, not all my efforting! My money (or lack of it!) has nothing to do with my worth. I even experienced an out-of-body awakening…

Here’s what I know for sure:

  • inner work + inspired action = dramatic outer changes (that’s how I paid off the big debt)
  • face your fears = transform them
  • uncover where you’re lying to yourself = set yourself free

And: it’s very uncomfortable for spiritual people to talk about money! 

Yet healing our relationship with money is a spiritual path. Indeed it is THE spiritual path — if you want to earn your living through your soul purpose work.

Why? Because if you DON’T deal with your money issues, you are forced to play small. You can’t step up to be the New Paradigm leader you are here to be. You can’t fulfill your Calling.

Yesterday I was talking with my wonderful colleague Sabine Messner, the Wizard of Soul Purpose Branding, about this uncomfortable topic. I realized that yes, Source is my source — but Source can only give me what I’m willing to receive — and I don’t have enough wealth receptors to fulfill my mission!

It was such an amazing and enlightening conversation that I knew I had to share it with you.

Join us LIVE tonight for a raw, honest, eye-opening conversation about money and spirituality. We’ll share our stories, laugh alot, and discuss:

  • the “spiritual money bypass” that afflicts so many of us — so you can see your big blindspot
  • what “soul purpose wealth” is, so you can move forward with clarity
  • how to increase your “wealth receptors” so that you’re open to receive more
  • * how you can join us to experience your own profound WEALTH RESET!

Are you brave enough to have an “uncomfortable conversation”? ♥

Thursday April 19th 
4pm Pacific, 6pm Central, 7pm Eastern

An Honest Conversation about Money & Spirituality 
with Sabine & Pamela

Just hop on the video-conference or phone with us:

Videoconference — join from PC, Mac, Linux, iOS or Android:

Or iPhone one-tap :
US: +14086380968,,342249105# or +16468769923,,342249105#

Or Telephone:
Dial (for higher quality, dial a number based on your current location):
US: +1 408 638 0968 or +1 646 876 9923 or +1 669 900 6833
Meeting ID: 342 249 105

Next month I’m going to reset my default wealth settings, and step up to the next level of my soul calling — and I want to take you with me.

Join the conversation to find out more.  See you tonight?

Love and blessings!

Transmuting Fear into Light

This is a powerful process you can model to permanently dissolve your fear into Light, and also remove some collective fear from the world.

It doesn’t matter what your fear is about, nor how real it seems — fear is fear, and you can transmute it into light. This is one example of how to do that. You will find your own way if you do a written dialogue with the fear you feel and also with your Trusted Guidance (“TG”: whatever you trust for higher wisdom — spirit guides, God, angels,  your heart, higher self etc). You might also ask Fear and TG to talk to each other…  See what naturally arises out of this deep listening.

Note: I wrote this dialogue when I was feeling fear about money. I had just realized I could not use an expensive marketing system I’d bought, because it is out of alignment for me to offer people something that I don’t expect will really serve them. And that’s what I’d bought. Damn! What could or should I offer instead??

P: Dear Sacred Heart, are you there?

SH: Yes… (resonating in my heart)  I am glad. Being in alignment is your true source of wealth.

P: I am so grateful to be processing this fear around money for myself and on behalf of the collective.

SH: What you need is forgiveness

P: Forgiveness?

SH: Forgiveness for being of the world when you also know you are not. Forgiveness for buying into (gentle laugh) the Separation story, yet again. Forgiveness for having a pain body that is connected to the pain body of the world, the pain body attached to “money”.

I love that your intention today to be present in the Now is supporting and surprising you. I love that you have surrendered your ego’s certainty and greed, and now something more beautiful can flow in. I love that you recognize and acknowledge fear as your teacher, and saw the split in you [love, and fear] in your face in the mirror. Blessed day, blessed moments!

P: Who gives me the forgiveness? I don’t feel like I need it…

SH: (that gentle laugh) Ah, but of course you don’t, dear ego. Pamela’s higher self forgives you for being you. In some ways she does not want to see you operating, in other ways she welcomes the inquiry and observation, for she does love Truth.

P: Isn’t my higher self above me and all this?

SH: No, you have brought her down into your body/form. She is a bit confused to be there — it’s harder to see clearly from there, but she also gives you the light of the divine in your daily experience, moments of ananda, opening you as a vessel of divine Consciousness. It is an agreement you have. You asked to be awakened as rapidly as possible, her presence in you assists that.

P: Thank you. Can you assist me with what to offer, and how best to use this day?

SH: First, do not ‘use’ this day. Let each moment use YOU. That is living meditation — every moment of every day. NOW.

[I fall into deep meditation…]

That peace and joy you feel? That is Sat. Truth. Reality. Create whatever you would create from there. Nothing else is real.

P: Thank you very much!

SH: You can experience this soooo much more. Everything you are experiencing now is to remind you of this — it has nothing to do with your circumstances or your thoughts. It is pure Being. Always there. It is what you are writing of  [in my book, The Soul Guide to a Magical Life]; but you cannot write of it without experiencing it as you write; let that dictate the words (though it is wordless).

Dear Pamela, you are in a time now when what you have asked for is happening! You are seeing the egoic programming more and more clearly, moment by moment. Each moment you learn from that, choose from that Awareness, empowers you and empowers the world. For as you ‘know’, you and the world are one.

P: I can hear part of me saying, “but from that place of Awareness, I can’t DO anything!” And it feels there are definitely things I must do.

SH: You may need to hear it, talk to it…. But maybe not. Dear child, what is it you want?

P: from the heart?

SH: (smiling) of course!

P: To serve and be served. To bless and be blessed. To not worry about money, but trust I am always supported. Part of me knows that, another part doesn’t believe that.

SH: That part must always be doing, doing, for it does not trust Being.

P: It says, “but Being is not enough! Things have to be brought into the world, offerings must be made so that money can be received, services must be provided, chores must be done. None of these things happens by itself!

SH: Shall I talk to that part, or shall you?

P: This is kind of wild, having Trusted Guidance talk to a Part.

SH: We are both part of you, it is not so strange at all. Let’s set up a dialogue with the 2 of us, you sit back and just take dictation, shall we? (smiling)

P: Sure! Ok, like to speak to the part first. Part, what would you like to be called?

Part: oh stop humoring me, that doesn’t matter. You’re so condescending, do you know that?

Pamela: I’m sorry. But this dialogue is between you and Sacred Heart.

Part: I’d rather tear into you, she’s not much fun.

Pamela: I’m going to the bathroom, maybe eat something. When I come back it’s Part & SH. I am the boss.

Part (snorting) that’s what YOU think.


We’re back. Beginning with quote from the Part above:

Part: but from that place of Awareness, I can’t do anything! Being is not enough! Things have to be brought into the world, offerings must be made so that money can be received, services must be provided, chores must be done. None of these things happens by itself!

Part: (adding something?) (sullen, NOT adding)

Pamela: dear Part, we do need to hear from you. You’ve been quite noisy these past hours, need to get what you’re saying

Part: I already said it. There is no response.

SH: I am here to respond from the heart, with Heart. Part, you are FEAR.

Fear: Ok, got me. Whoop-de-doo.

SH: You and I can’t fully be in the same space. But we have danced from across the room… (smiling)

Fear: You’re not going to condescend to me too, now, are you? Because I won’t have it. I am to be feared — I am what you should pay attention to!!

SH: Yes, that is how it seems to you. We could call you by other names as well.

Fear: I can hear it, I know you think “Devil”. He’s a lot more manipulative than me. Well… maybe not… (quieter, smaller)

SH: So you don’t want to be the devil?

Fear: No, of course not!!

SH: What’s so scary?

Fear: You know enough not to ask. Let’s change the subject

SH: Ok. So you feel a need to be doing. What is top of Mind to do?

Fear: Create an offering to send out tomorrow, one that feels “aligned” to P & her higher self, but that also gets the job done.

SH: And what is the job?

F: Getting people to pay!! We need money, more of it. I’m tired of mental games and feeling stingy

SH: Sren’t you the source of feeling stingy?

F: Well yes, but… (confused) I don’t like it.

SH: Just like you don’t like being “the devil”

F: Stop it! I AM NOT.

SH: I apologize, Fear. No more name calling. What is your deepest desire?

F: I can never have it (sadly)

SH: It’s ok to say it anyway

F: I want to always have enough, and more than enough. I want Pamela to have plenty of money, to not have to think about money, just be safe and secure always.

SH: That’s very kind of you. What would happen to you if that were true?

F: I don’t know… I guess I’d be gone.

SH: Where would you go?

F: Oh there are PLENTY of places (smiling again, seeing millions of people)

SH: So you’re not really part of Pamela’s personality, are you?

F: No I guess not. I’m kind of free-floating — not just in her, but in many, many people. I’m part of something big in the world (proudly)

SH: The devil is in the details

F: What does that mean?

SH: The larger thing you are part of could be called “the devil”. Or not. But it shows it’s, shall we say, ‘dysfunctionality’ in the moment-by-moment details of how you react, what you amplify, what you distort, what you suppress.

F: I’m not stupid, I know you meant ‘evil’, I heard it. And I know you want to tell me what each of those things means/what it looks like. But I don’t want your lessons.

SH: So back to why you can never have what you want for Pamela. Why is that?

F: Because it just doesn’t seem possible. I can’t get her to do what she needs to do. I’m not even sure I know what she needs to do. This whole ‘spiritual entrepreneur’ thing is so confusing — money and spirituality don’t easily mix, do they.

SH: They can. Money is a neutral medium of exchange; it’s the thoughts you attach to it that make it “dirty”

F: Look, I don’t want to take all day in flowery conversation. If I don’t create an offering, & figure what to go back to M & L with, will you do that? Can you? Let’s get some money flowing.

SH: The source of money is not our doing, but our mindset — what we are aligned for. Can you see where this is going? You’re smart…

F: You’re trying to say I should go away and Pamela will have such an elevated mindset, money will just fly to her, without doing anything at all.

SH: Well yes, but more precisely, the INSPIRED action will present itself from a very different place than the seat of Fear.

Can you see that the only way Pamela can “always have enough, and more than enough. I want Pamela to have plenty of money, to not have to think about money, just be safe and secure always

… is without you?

Fear: I feel very tired.

SH: Would it work for the system to go to sleep, and when Pamela wakes up, you’re well and truly gone?

F: Wouldn’t that be irresponsible on both our parts? I have a duty to motivate her and get her moving, and she has a duty to learn from me and all?

SH: It is possible she has learned enough from you. You have been very helpful. She saw through this lesson pretty quickly.

F: Yes, but not instantly, and she needed help.
And why am I helping you?! I should be arguing for why I’m needed, not how she can better get rid of me

SH: But you don’t need her. And you are kind enough to want the best for her

F: I really am very tired

SH: Maybe it’s time to move on to greener pastures…

F: If I did, how can I be sure she’ll be ok?

SH: Hasn’t she always been ok? Hasn’t she been told she is provided for, and doesn’t she have good reason to think so?

F: Well yes….

SH: You can go in good conscience. Thank you for your service! Sincerely, we are truly grateful. You have played such an important Part (chuckling) in her ongoing awakening.

And you know, if you are ready to return to the Light, you can. You are forever safe there, no whiff of sulfur (smiling)

F: If I leave Pamela, I am not gone from the world. WE are much too big for that.

SH: True

F: And WE will come back if she needs us

SH: How would y’all know if she needs you?

…. I don’t know…

SH: Are you ready to go?

F: Just one last thing. I want Pamela to love me… (crying)


Then I start crying too, and express heart-felt appreciation and love for Fear, who has taught me so much. I see that FEAR is what needs forgiving, and forgive it freely, saying it is free to go, or stay, I can live in peace with it now. Then I say, “you are FREE!” in clear, ringing tone. And it is gone.

Silence. expansiveness. Light. I feel completely awake. Clear. deep quiet. peace.

My hands are vibrating, so I hold them up in blessing, asking that this be a blessing for ALL beings. I ask that all the fear in the world that is willing to be transmuted to Light now, be set free. I see clockwork gears rotating to the left (unwinding); then dark, wound-up fabric doing the same on a massive scale, letting in light from the center as it untwirls and relaxes — while the energy in my palms also churns leftwards in circles, in a tick-tick-tick ratcheting kind of way, unwinding what is ready to be unwound.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!” bursts from me when the process seems to be completing.

Continuing to follow leading of the body, I stretch up to the heavens in gratitude, then slowly bring my outstretched hands down and together over my heart, feeling the space compress between them as I do, like shutting a cosmic door, until the strange, dry, papery feeling of my hands touching each other (doesn’t feel like “my body” at all) opens my eyes.

How I celebrate this alignment: write about this in the SGML!

My Inspired Action: Not doing! Nap, or sit quietly. Then ask for guidance about what to offer…


P: I am ready now to consult with Trusted Guidance on what to offer.

I am told I’ll be guided to what to offer after I talk with an old friend tomorrow, a fellow spiritual entrepreneur who has asked me for feedback on her offerings.

I can ask her freely what she is needing, what she feels is missing, and what she’d love, that would take her biz to whole new level — that is the payment for me freely being of service to her. We can decide together (including what I can tell her is possible that she may not know) what would be included in the offering and how it’d be delivered that would feel delicious, then do The Right Price exercise together with no expectation she would do this — she is just being a voice for the Lights I’m here to serve. (And we may come up with several different options.)

If I write anything for my list today [I was going to make the offer that I knew wouldn’t really serve people] it’s going to be to share about this whole process. Transparency.


How you can uplift the world

In this crucial time of transition, how can we plant seeds of truth and healing? How can we sow the more beautiful world our hearts know is possible?

As our established systems break down in the face of political, environmental and social crises, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and powerless.

We’ve entered a time where the old story of who we are and how things work is broken, and in the rising chaos, the new story is not yet clear.

But we know in our hearts that it must be rooted in the truth that everything is connected and we’re all one on this beautiful planet.

We must come together to share and amplify this consciousness, strengthening it in the collective field. David Nichols PhD calls this “Subtle Activism”, and  it’s how we can uplift and heal the world — and ourselves.

This Sunday May 7 2017

@ 5pm Eastern (2 Pacific, 10pm GMT)

Join us for 1 hour of Subtle Activism

to uplift the collective field — and ourselves!

Enjoy a beautiful meditation, community, and the experience of being part of a healing circle and the Web of Light.

You can participate ONLINE via live-streaming, or IN PERSON if you’re in the greater Binghamton NY area. Details below.

There is no charge, and nothing to sign up for.  Just RSVP now (or comment below) and mark your calendar!

Here’s how to join us:

ONLINE (Live-streaming):

Join from PC, Mac, Linux, iOS or Android:

Or iPhone one-tap (US Toll): +16465588656,376929233# or +14086380968,376929233#

Or Telephone:
Dial: +1 646 558 8656 (US Toll) or +1 408 638 0968 (US Toll)
Meeting ID: 376 929 233

International numbers available:

Please get on a few minutes early so we can make sure you’re all set up when we start at 5pm.


If you’re in the greater Binghamton NY area, you’re invited to our place!

Pamela and Mark’s home
593 Pollard Hill Rd
Johnson City NY 13790

Map and directions:

There’s a wagon wheel at foot of the driveway.
Coming from East Maine Rd onto Pollard Hill Rd, it’s exactly 9/10 of a mile on the right, soon after yellow “curvy road” sign.
Coming from the other end of Pollard Hill Rd (town of Maine), it’s about 2 1/2 miles, on left at bottom of a steep curve

I look forward to sharing this with you!

People have been having beautiful spontaneous experiences during our Subtle Activism meditations, such as:

* riding a beam of light around the world, filling oppressors and haters with love;

* standing with the living Christ in the Middle East, radiating healing light;

* seeing that her heart was closed off, and then someone she resented appeared; as she forgave him and herself, light filled them both…

Don’t miss it!

Love and blessings,

P.S. Find out more about Subtle Activism here

Finding the Higher Perspective on the Election

1200x600I was shocked when Donald Trump won the election. Like millions of others, I was so sure Hillary Clinton would win (although I didn’t vote for her) that I literally could not believe my eyes when I saw the results.

Most of my family and friends were terrified, outraged, disgusted, depressed, even physically ill —they felt like they’d woken up into a bad dream they couldn’t escape.

What I felt was more… unsettled, as if I had no ground to stand on. I understood their fear and outrage, although I couldn’t join with it. But I didn’t have any higher perspective, either.

Yet I knew there must be one. Driven to uncover it, I devoured online essays, thought out loud with wise friends — and threw my hat over the fence: I was scheduled to speak at Unity that Sunday and boldly told them my topic would be “The Higher Perspective on the Election” — without knowing what it was!

That higher perspective arrived just a few hours before I stood in front of the congregation. With joy I walked them through how to literally find the higher perspective on the election, using Michael Beckwith’s model of the 4 Stages of Consciousness (modified):

The First Stage of Consciousness






What I, and my family and friends, didn’t realize about Trump supporters is that they’ve been feeling “terrified, outraged, disgusted, depressed, even physically ill— like they’d woken up into a bad dream they couldn’t escape” for YEARS.

Their once secure, good-paying jobs have disappeared; their values of hard work, traditional family, and Christian faith are ridiculed by liberal media and Hollywood; the recession pounded them, but all the recovery $ went to the cities; they can’t afford to send their kids to college, or to move to areas with more opportunities; their whole way of life is disappearing. They’ve spent the last 8 years watching terrifying nightly news reports about ISIS, mass shootings, and Black people rioting. They look out their front doors and see closed factories and painkiller addicts. They believe nobody in Washington could care less about them — and they are absolutely right.

“To those ignored, suffering people, Donald Trump is a brick chucked through the window of the elites. ‘Are you assholes listening now?’“   [See How Half of American Lost Its F**cking Mind]


Most of all, we didn’t realize that most Trump voters voted for him DESPITE the fact that he said and believes hateful things, not because of it.  They voted for him for much the same reasons I wanted to vote for Bernie Sanders: a sense that the system is fundamentally broken, and that Hillary Clinton would have been more of the same.

When we’re responding to life from this stage of consciousness — feeling victimized by outside events and helpless to change them — we channel our anger and grief and powerlessness into blaming and shaming others (and ourselves).


My beloved daughter demonstrated this dynamic the day after the election.

She was furious:  “Those selfish Bernie supporters, ‘Never Clinton’— they didn’t vote! Or they voted for third party candidates! THIS IS THEIR FAULT!!”   (I did not find the courage to tell her I’d done just that — ‘protest-voted’ for Jill Stein. At least I wasn’t in a swing state…)

But her rage soon turned inward, to blaming and shaming herself:  “I should have made calls to get out the vote, like I did for Obama; I should have done more, I was complacent. I feel terrible…”

A few more examples of the epidemic of post-election Victim consciousness: Hilary supporters blame sexism & angry white men for her defeat; Hillary herself reportedly blames FBI director James Comey; Al Franken reportedly blames Obamacare among other things. I won’t even go into the hate-filled gloating from some in the Trump camp, now that they finally won…

This blaming-and-shaming Victim consciousness feels terrible (although it can also give us a rush of righteous indignation).

Even worse, it creates a cycle of powerlessness.  The only thing we can think to do when we feel powerless is turn around and retaliate against the nearest likely target — which creates more victims — or sink into apathy and depression.

And of course the Victim mentality happens not only on a personal level, but also on the level of nations, where it causes massive damage.  Seeking out & destroying our “enemies” may look like the best solution, but actually it creates an increasingly dangerous world.


Example:  The 15 year US ‘War on Terror’ that began with the ill-conceived invasion of Iraq after 9-11 (when Americans understandably felt victimized) has led to far more terrorists, expanded war and chaos in the Middle East, ISIL, ISIS, huge numbers of refugees, and the backlash against them. Not to mention 5 times MORE terrorism incidents in the US  (118 in the 15 years since 9-11, versus 23 in the 15 years before it.)

The cycle of powerlessness and retaliation keeps spreading. In fact it seems that the more we fight our ‘enemies’, the more we get of what we DON’T want: See the War on Drugs, the War on Cancer, the War on Poverty.…   As C.G. Jung said, “What you resist, persists.

How do we get out of this nightmare?

Could it be that it’s “fighting” and identifying “enemies” that’s the problem?

Even if our battles are only rhetorical, whenever we perceive somebody or something as ‘other’ there is FEAR. (We’re all born into a tribal mentality where ‘others’ = not us = potential enemies.) Our fear drives us to do and say hateful things which only make matters worse.

So, notwithstanding that we may be fully justified in blaming others for our current situation, there comes a time when we must realize that as long as we’re in blame-shame Victim mode, we are giving away our true power and limiting our ability to make the changes that are truly needed.

As we give up blaming and shaming others (and ourselves!), something new becomes possible: we start feeling empowered to actively create the path we desire and need to be on.

This opens us up to the next stage of consciousness:

The Second Stage of Consciousness


Initially, as we embrace the Agent level of consciousness, we feel stretched or challenged by  our circumstances. Yet these challenges are exactly what is needed for us to step up to be the agent of positive change in our lives.

It is only by moving through challenges that we get to discover we are capable of far more than we realized. We are not helpless victims of circumstance, but powerful creators of it!  We use tools like affirmations and affirmative prayer, visualization and vision boards, and planning and positive thinking to conceive and believe in the life we desire and take steps toward it. Breakthroughs in this stage usually require focused, determined, courageous action. They leave us with a sense of personal accomplishment, “I did it! I am powerful!

Some people who initially responded to the election from the Victim stage of consciousness are already moving into the Agent stage — picking themselves up and and starting to take positive action to create the change they wish to see.

For example, soon after the election a group of women organized a Women’s March on Washington for the day of the Trump Inauguration. As one of the organizers explained, their intention is not blaming or shaming, but focusing collective attention: “The march is not a protest against Trump or the legitimacy of the election, but to shed light on women’s issues, including sexual assault and workplace discrimination.”


Moving from blame to positive action — taking charge of our mental, emotional and physical responses to a challenge — gives us a feeling of being in control, which feels so much better than the Victim stage’s helplessness.

We can respond to the election from the Agent stage of consciousness by individually and collectively taking action, such as marching or signing petitions. (Caveat: we must be very careful to do this without blaming or shaming — or we’re right back in Victim consciousness where our actions do more harm than good.)

Agent-level consciousness also helps us have more productive conversations with loved ones whose political views differ from ours. Instead of getting into heated arguments (or shutting down and avoiding “those morons”), something new is possible: we can start noticing when we are blaming and shaming them.

How can we tell we’re doing it?  It’s easy: they get defensive. Anytime someone is defensive (angry, justifying, talking too much, not listening) they ARE feeling attacked. It does not matter if we didn’t mean to blame or attack, or don’t think we did, or don’t think they should feel attacked — the point is just to notice that the other person is defensive.


Once we notice that, we access the Agent’s power to step out of the Victim cycle of powerlessness. (Hallelujah!) We can help everyone relax and lighten up right away — by apologizing: “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel attacked. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.” (You can also say this to yourself when you blame, shame or guilt-trip yourself. It really helps!)

As we keep practicing the tools of the Agent stage, we emerge with a sense of personal ownership of the amazing life we create, earn, cause, and achieve. This is a powerful stage on our path.

However… as long as we cling to the need to be in control, we keep discovering how limited and illusory our control is.  We see this when, despite our affirmations and focused actions, something “bad” happens; or when our attempts to control a situation or person FAIL in the long run.  After all, we can’t even fully control ourselves — “willpower” is notoriously weak.

Ultimately, we come to realize that our efforts to be the sole generator and controller of all outcomes can only get us so far. We just aren’t wise enough to plan out everything that needs to happen to create the results we desire, and we don’t have the power to force things to go according to plan!

When we accept that our efforts to be powerful and in control are ultimately futile,  we move into the next stage of consciousness:

The Third Stage of Consciousness


In this stage we open ourselves up to the unknown, to what lies beyond our ordinary conscious awareness. As we do, we discover a new trust and connection to the higher power and greater truth ready to flow through us.

When we approach the election of President Donald Trump from the Vessel stage of consciousness, we get interested in what we don’t know. How can we understand the perspective of those we disagree with, disapprove of, and dislike?

Even if the person we face IS a misogynist or bigot, we ask, “Is this who they are, really?” We ask what confluence of circumstances — social, economic, biographical — could have brought them there. We seek to realize that if we too had the same circumstances (and level of consciousness) we would say and do as they do.


Here’s an exercise in applying Vessel consciousness:

Think of someone you disagree with, disapprove of, dislike, fear.…
Imagine this person in front of you.

Can you imagine him or her as a child?  See that child in your mind’s eye.

Ask yourself: “what could have happened to turn that child into the adult you see today?

What do you have in common? (If you don’t know — are you willing to find out?)

Now ask yourself, “What would it be like if I resisted your harmful actions, but see you as a human being?”

Allow images, ideas or emotions to arise.

Then consider that this person, like you, has foibles, weaknesses, blind spots, and frailties; old pains and sorrows; struggles, and good qualities; and a deep need to love and be loved.  Ask yourself, “is it possible for me to embrace you as a fellow human being, someone like me?”

Finally, consider the idea that this person is in your life to teach you something important. How might they be a teacher for you? What might the lesson be?  [See “Donald Trump: Your Spiritual Teacher in Disguise”]


With questions like these, we start letting go of the belief that we are separate from others and have a right to judge and condemn them. (Letting go of this in no way stops us from protesting or preventing their harmful actions.)

As we do, we begin to open up to the greater powers of life flowing through us. We come to understand that we are ALL children of God/the Universe: no one is better or less than anyone else, and we ALL have the capability of doing terrible things when we are terrified. This underscores what FDR said: the only thing we have to fear is FEAR itself.

Sometimes the Vessel experience of THROUGH ME comes as a graceful extension of our personal growth. And sometimes it arrives more abruptly and painfully, as we reach the limit of our understanding and skills and have no choice but to SURRENDER, opening ourselves up to be conduits or instruments of higher energetic forces within us.


The election of Donald Trump feels like that limit that for many. His victory provoked shock and incredulity — did you, like me, find yourself saying “I can’t believe this is happening!”?

This election seems like such a seismic shift because it embodies and represents the dissolution of the old order. That dissolution began long before election night, and will continue (and probably intensify) long after. Why?  Because we the people of this nation and world no longer trust the institutions and received wisdom that got us here.

Charles Eisenstein expresses Vessel consciousness when he writes:

We live in a civilization that has robbed nearly all of us of deep community, intimate connection with nature, unconditional love, freedom to explore the kingdom of childhood, and so much more.

The acute trauma endured by people who are incarcerated, abused, raped, trafficked, starved, murdered, and dispossessed does not exempt the perpetrators. They feel it in mirror image, adding damage to their souls atop the damage that compels them to violence.

That’s why suicide is the leading cause of death in the U.S. military. That’s why addiction is rampant among the police. That’s why depression is epidemic in the upper middle class… We are all in this together. One earth, one tribe, one people.


In this chaotic time, we have a tremendous opportunity to move together into that higher perspective of Who We Are.  When we’re comfortable, we don’t change. Maybe Trump is here to make us UNcomfortable, and wake us up from very deep (and destructive) illusions. Who knows, the election of Donald Trump may be exactly what’s needed to catalyze our collective shift in consciousness!

However, this will happen only if we meet the collective energy of fear and hatred (and the totalitarian nightmares it engenders) with an even stronger power. Can you guess what it is?

Yes, Love.

Every day we have the choice to respond from fear and blame (Victim consciousness) or love and acceptance (Vessel and Oneness consciousness). Choose: keep going it alone and mask all symptoms of distress? Or get to the root of our problems and work together to solve them? Separation, or Unity? Illusion, or Reality?

Fortunately, we get lots of chances to practice being the change we want to see…!

As we accept ourselves and cultivate inner peace, love and compassion, it becomes much easier to feel that toward others, and free ourselves  from Victim consciousness.

We must understand that our own inner practice of love and peace — a surrender that feels to the ego like defeat — is the single largest contribution we can make to peace and higher consciousness in our families, workplaces, nation and world.


This does NOT mean withdrawing.  It means actively not giving in to social pressure to hate “the deplorables”. It means engaging in confrontations with our hearts open, connecting to the hurt and scared child in the person we’re facing, and their beautiful soul. It means speaking hard truths with compassion and love, so that they may be heard.  It means being what Charles Eisenstein calls “an eye of compassion inside the political hate vortex”.

When we can do this and be this, we tap into an inexhaustible flow of higher wisdom and creativity to engage in new ways, transform challenging situations, and overcome “impossible” odds.

Why?  Because in so doing, we give up our ego and its story of separation. And we simultaneously discover the highest perspective: that we are One with the infinite creative force of the universe, which is expressing and experiencing itself ‘As Me’. (It is also expressing and experiencing itself as all Life, and all forms, everywhere.) We are One with All of It.

The 4th stage of consciousness:


I’m going to end with a quote from psychic Danielle Agnew, who blogged about Why Donald Trump is the Best Thing to Ever Happen to the USA:

“I’d like to sincerely thank Donald Trump for so diligently playing his role in the polarization process that ends up assisting in the Ascension of Consciousness for a kinder and gentler America. We couldn’t have done it without you, Donald. After all, we can’t clean the counters if we never move the cookie jar to see that they’re dirty.

The key to the healing that the United States seeks within the hearts of its population is in finding our own voices, without the anger, the desperation, or the need to marginalize another — in order to find room to talk. [And, I would add, listen to one another.]

That is the liberation of America.”


Your Inner Critic is NOT your enemy

You know that mean inner voice that says, “You SHOULD BE …”, “You SHOULDN’T have …” and “What is WRONG with you?!” in such a harsh and judgemental way?

Yup, our Inner Critic gets really nasty when we’re not living up to its high standards.

It often seems like our worst enemy: keeps us up at night, stops us from trying new things, prevents us from finishing projects (“it’s not perfect yet!!”), drives us to be workaholics, sabotages our relationships, makes us feel like crap…

But our Inner Critic isn’t ALL bad.  In fact, successful people have a strong Inner Critic that drives their success, even when they don’t like how it does it.  

It really bugs me when therapists and coaches try to get you to SILENCE your Inner Critic — because your Inner Critic, like your other subconscious parts, actually has a contribution to make. Beneath the insults, slave-driving and self-sabotage, it’s trying to protect you and teach you to be a better person.
When you learn how to negotiate with your Inner Critic  
and appreciate its role, it becomes your ally  
and BREAKS THROUGH your blocks.  
(This is true of ALL parts of your ego.)
Yesterday I guided a client I’ll call “Laurel” through a dialogue with her inner critic. This powerful technique may sound weird, but it creates peace, ease and clarity in minutes — even when you’ve been stuck for months or years:
CASE STUDY: Laurel and her Inner Critic
Laurel is a successful entrepreneur who just moved her family to a new state.  She’s also wise, so she planned several weeks off from her business for moving and getting to know their new community. She carefully set aside the time and money to be able to relax, get settled and explore with her family.

But when it came down to it, Laurel simply could not let herself relax or “just” explore! There were so many things things she SHOULD do instead… She felt “massive resistance” within her and was really frustrated.

(Note: “Should” is one of the Inner Critic’s favorite words. ;-p)

So I guided Laurel to channel her Inner Critic – she calls it “Cruella” – while I asked questions and listened respectfully.
Turns out “Cruella” had very useful ideas to make Laurel’s transition feel safer:
  1. Create lists of all the things that need to be done by area (house, work, etc)
  2. Hang the lists up where they’re out of sight but can be reviewed regularly — on her closet walls!
  3. Create a rough timeline for what needs to happen when & hang it up too.
However, even if Laurel agreed to do these things, Cruella said she did not trust her to follow through. So she STILL wouldn’t allow Laurel to relax and explore…

“You SHOULD be doing your To Dos, not wasting time on this!! You LAZY, DISGUSTING SLOB!!”

“OK,” I said to Cruella. “What’s the worst thing that could happen if Laurel ignored her To Do lists?”  When we drilled down, the very worst thing Cruella could think of was that Laurel would “hate her life“.

I pointed out that for Laurel NOT to “hate her life”, she needs to be able to relax sometimes and enjoy being in the moment…  (Laurel is a meditator of many years’ practice; a big part of her is all about ‘being in the moment.’)

I asked Cruella: “Is there was a way to compromise?

Cruella: “Yes.” [!] “If Laurel takes the time to get clear about all the pieces that need to be done, and focuses on 1 thing in the moment, I’ll let her enjoy moments of exploring and relaxing too.” 


Whoo hoo! I thanked Cruella for the breakthrough, and noted that when all the pieces are clear + Laurel is in the moment = there is inner PEACE. Cruella and Laurel-the-meditator make a perfect team!

Cruella: “Actually, I prefer to be called ‘Judith’…”

Laurel: “Wow, I feel so much clearer and more peaceful!”

It’s vital to get to know, appreciate and negotiate with our subconscious parts, so we can stop being at war with ourselves. For if we don’t have peace in ourselves, how can we possibly have peace in our relationships, much less peace in the world?

Love and blessings,

Guest blog: The 5 Keys to Letting Your ‘Secret Power’ Do for Your Life What You Can’t

Sophie (with accidental halo!) listening within

I never imagined I could fly coast to coast for $35.  I had no idea that I’d go from couch to TEDx speaker in one fell swoop, or from non-athlete to half marathon-runner in three months… then be even more stunned by what happened next.

As a lifelong smarty-pants, I’m kinda used to knowing things. All the same, when it comes to making the very best things happen, what’s possible, or even who I am, I have arrived at the following shocking and liberating truth: I don’t know squat.

In fact, I believe we all know far less, yet strangely much, much more, than we realize. But before I share the secret to a certain kind of stupidity that can transform your life… let’s talk about you. 🙂

You’ve had some pretty great ideas about what you want in life. Naturally, you set out to make those things happen, and everything turned out exactly the way you thought it would.

Said no one ever!

Those times that everything falls into place, those people with the happiest, most amazing lives — they didn’t happen all by themselves. And exactly according to plan?  Not a chance.

You may find that even when you know what you could do — or “should” do — to be your dream-you, you struggle to do those things. Or that the harder you try, the more elusive certain dreams seem.

What if it wasn’t all up to you? What if there was an easier way? A faster way? What if you were in cahoots with a power that attracted so much help and opened so many doors, it was like taking a worm hole through space and time into the world you really want for yourself.

Guess what? You already are.

You may call it your Divine Guidance. You may call it your inspiration, a gut feeling, an inner knowing, or even, serendipity. At it’s most realized, you literally have the power and wisdom of the entire Universe, at your service. Why not use this secret power more often?

Maybe because… there’s a hitch.

That hitch makes me an unlikely voice for letting “the Universe” help connect you to your bliss. For most of my life, bliss wasn’t even on my radar. I knew little of this thing called “help.” I trusted in my intellect, ate textbooks for breakfast, and struggled through life through sheer force of will.

Because here’s the thing: in order to tap into the infinite power of the Universe, to let it work for you and do what you can’t do for yourself, you’ve got to let go. You got to let go of always being in charge. And, it pains me to say it, but you’ve got to let go… of knowing everything.

Because as important as it can be to think through things, as awesome as it is to learn and use that good stuff stored in your non-trial-size noggin… your intuition/Divine Guidance/the Universe knows even more.

My brain vs. the Universe #1) How many solutions are there to a problem? GO.

Me: One. My solution.

Universe: Infinite, baby! The literally infinite possible arrangements of the vibrating energy strings, people, things and circumstances of the entire world of existence.

A couple of years ago, when Pamela (yes, the Soul Guide herself) was planning her first extended retreat, my own Inner Voice of Cosmic Wisdom suddenly popped up with: “We belong at that retreat.”

My response: “Look, I’m anxious in groups, I won’t know anyone but Pamela, and it’s on the west freakin’ coast–I can’t even cover the cost of the retreat, much less plane fare to California. Get real.”

I.V.C.W.: “Must. Be. At. RETREEEAT!!!”

Me: “Sheesh!”

I ended up joining the Retreat organizing team, and soon after, my folks offered me a free plane ticket! To Sedona. En route, suffering only mild heart palpitations, I did something I “would never do:” accepted the airline’s no-fee, extra-special, in-flight credit card offer. Using those bonus miles, I bought a ticket to California for $35.

That was just the beginning. Pamela’s retreat blew my modest hopes out of the wind-blown waves. I’d delayed my post-retreat return flight for a few extra unplanned-days (who IS this person?!), then became lulled into such a (strange) state of inner trust that I spent the entire wad of vacation money I’d scraped together on… a fancy hotel room.


My brain vs. the Universe #2) What’s the relative importance of things?

Me: “Should do’s” = important. Everything else = too bad.

Universe: Guess again, ‘social justice activist!’ You’re much more effective and useful when you’re happy!  This may involve blue nontoxic nail polish and kayaking with seals. 😉

“Fancy hotel room” made little sense to my rational self, who was leaning toward the $25 a night hostel. Instead, I skipped San Francisco, a car, even a taxi, hauling my suitcase on and off public transit ’til I found myself greeted by name (then and each time I walked through the front door,) at the adorable Spindrift Inn. And from the security of that canopy-bed, hardwood-floor, in-room-fireplace feeling of ‘home,’ I biked up and down the coast and went kayaking with wild otters and seals.

When I got home, my ex-boyfriend had taken a wall down in my house–as a favor. My bedroom came to resemble that boutique-hotel haven, and my life, that kayak adventure.

All this sounding a little too lalala for you? Wanna work a little harder for your bliss? No worries. Following your inspiration is not about avoidance or escapism. You may find yourself skipping steps or taking them out of order, yet working with an intensity that leaves your workaholic friends in awe.

Case in point: For years, I harbored a secret dream of being a speaker. However, with no best-selling book, million-hits blog, or Olympic gold medals, I wasn’t sure where to start. Then, last summer, I saw a call for speaker proposals for a nearby TEDx event.

Inner Voice of Cosmic Wisdom: “This is IT, you TED-talk-obsessed, slightly-New-Agey, idealistic brainiac! This is your chance! You can do this!!!”

Me: “You can’t just make shit up, and expect people to listen to you.”

I.V.C.W.: “You can try.”

I tried. And failed. To complete the application! Three weeks later, poking around the website, I saw there was still time, and I ground out a proposal that had a beginning, a middle, and, miracle of miracles, an end.

Getting chosen brought a brief moment of euphoria before the terror set in. For weeks, my room filled up with drafts, more drafts, tears, more tears, and more drafts. Finally, I drew the talk as a diagram on a door-sized piece of foam board, ended it with a poem (thanks, Don,) and scheduled five practice talks.

M first practice talk: Super! Bad! Four more later, I was live, mic’d up, being  videotaped, and in front of a TEDx audience. The talk worked. And as people came up to me after, I realized: ‘I am now a speaker.’

My brain vs. the Universe #3) What’s best way to get from A to Z?

Me: Start at A. Go to B. Then go to C. Get through this 26 times, and you might make it to Z.

Universe: Start at A, repeating it three times. Skip to M, then loop back to L. Next: rosebush. Now go to your niece’s band concert. BAM! You’re at Z, surprise! Hey, Q looks nice.

Your Inner Voice of Cosmic Wisdom may bonk you over the head. Or it may offer low-key guidance such as what foods to eat or how to lead your day. You may need to slow down and listen, write a dialog, or enlist a guide to your Guide. In fact, how do you know you are listening, and not just taking a misguided detour to hell?

Great idea for an another article! But here’s a hint: the voice saying, “If I don’t do this, then [disaster]” or “I feel like doing X because I’m too scared to do Y,” is probably not your Cosmic Wisdom. When partnering with the Universe, you may feel scared as a result of taking action (or of letting go of a “should do” action,) but fear is not why you’re taking the action.

You may feel thrilled, scared, confident, vulnerable, relieved, or even perplexed following your Inner Voice of Cosmic Wisdom. But if you slow down and listen in below the hubbub, you should discover a part of you that knows you’re on the right track — that inner “YES.”

This can carry you through when you really don’t know why you’re inspired to do something (and you’re friends and family are like, “huh?”) For example, I couldn’t run a quarter mile, and had no intention of doing so, when my Inner Voice of Cosmic Wisdom spotted photos of smiling faces from an all-women’s half marathon around Central Park.

I.V.C.W: “Wow. Running umpteen miles in NYC with thousands of actual athletes — wouldn’t that be an adventure! I wonder if, three months from now, I could possibly finish the race before the 4-hour cut-off!”

Me: “Yeah, nice pics. Too bad you hate running and you suck. (And how exactly would attempting said ‘adventure’ help me with my Real Concerns of building a business or finding a mate?) What is the point of me, a non-runner, slogging on for a giant bunch of miles and hours and weeks for a single event I have to pay for to endure and probably fail?!”


To my own constant amazement, I did do the slogging, the hours, and the race. Faster than I ever dreamed I could. And my time was nothing compared to this soul-opening insight: even my concepts about who I am (or am not: an athlete) might be up for grabs.

(Plus, if I hadn’t followed my Inner Voice of Cosmic Wisdom, I’d never have the stories for this article, or be entering it into a contest hosted by my favorite blogging guru/how-to website!)

So let’s review. But first, why not tap into this power right now! Pick one area of your life that feels a bit stale, stuck, or just not fan-freakin-tastic at the moment. Then take just *5 minutes* at the least–go ahead and set a timer–to try the following:

A) Start your 5-minute walk, meditation, or journal session by asking your inspiration/intuition/Inner Voice of Cosmic Wisdom for a fresh thought or action step. B) Listen. C) If you get something, take that step–no matter how irrelevant or miniscule it might seem. Share your results with Pamela and I! D) Do it again tomorrow.

And don’t forget these 5 keys to letting your ‘secret power’ do for your life what you can’t:

1)    Let go of thinking you know everything.

Explore, learn, get good advice, yes! And open up to having what you ‘know’ get turned upside down. Embrace your utter cluelessness in the face of the infinite Universe.

2) Let go of struggle.

This can be a toughie. (Irony noted.) Struggle rarely feels like a choice. How can you trust when your life is the pits?! Start by going easy on yourself. The opposite never works. Let go one day, and one burdensome thought, at a time. It’s not all up to you! Open up to help, to joy, to inspiration. Even if it seems far-fetched now, lean into your heart’s desire with affection, instead of despair.

3) Let go of expectations.

Plans are great. Make some. Start following them! And now open up to surprises. Let go of seeing things only at a certain scale. Open to small gifts. Open to greatness!

Even when things go awry, try not to assume they’re going wrong. Consider the beauty of the unforeseen twist.

4) Let go of control.

It’s not just dedication and skill that lead to greatness. It’s taking a risk and letting go that makes the great athlete, the great musician, the great leader, and the great life. Open to uncertainty. Open to your emotions. Appreciate the ride. The destination is mostly a decoy.

5) Let go of over-doing.

I can hear some of you taking charge already. “I need that inspiration, that cosmic partnership, and this is how I’m doing it, starting now!” Glad you’re excited but… relax. It’s not about pounding it out. Overwork or over-indulgence can be ways of avoiding yourself. And you can’t tap into what the Universe is trying to tell you, show you or give to you if you’re avoiding yourself. Open to spaciousness. Open to listening.

Don’t worry about missing an offer or a message from the Universe. It’s alright. It’s not going anywhere.

P.S. After my half marathon, I immediately signed up for more races, then was sidelined by knee pain. I was crushed. However, I rediscovered Pete Egoscue’s “Pain Free” on my bookshelf, and started doing the exercises.

Remarkably, the exercises are helping my bones actually move and re-align. My hips, knees, legs and even shoulders seem to be recovering from ‘imperfections’ I’ve had as long as I can remember. It’s like I’m actually getting younger. Now I thought that truly was impossible! Shows how much I know. 😉

– – – –

Sophie Somerfeldt is a community organizer, educator, coach,  artist, writer, speaker, and visionary. She lives in a home of her own design in EcoVillage at Ithaca, and recently founded

My Shocking Wedding Miracle (very personal)

My soulmate Mark and I celebrated our Sacred Union this past weekend.

It was a magical outdoor celebration at our home, with a team of helpers aged 7 to 87 who made everything happen; threatened thunderstorms that never came; and a simple ceremony with no officiant, just us and our guests speaking spontaneously from our hearts, to much tears and laughter.

But what touched me most was something quite shocking:

Tearing up at wedding…

Seeing my former husband Brian dance with my new husband Mark.

I watched in amazement as my two husbands embraced each other on the dance floor, and then took turns leading one another through spins and steps, laughing over the awkwardness of 2 hetero guys doing a partner dance…

Never, ever imagined I’d see such a thing!  Yet all the work we’d done to heal old hurts and transform old patterns was so profoundly, playfully and perfectly expressed by that awkward, lovely dance.

That’s why while the other dancers applauded, I found myself sobbing with gratitude and joy on a friend’s shoulder…

OK, Mark and Brian weren’t anywhere near as smooth as these guys, but you get the feeling:


What’s going on here?

I’m learning that when we share our love and light freely, without shame, we liberate everyone around us to express their love and light too.  (For me that often looks like tears running down my face and a red nose, but where I used to be embarrassed, now I relish the freedom to keep my heart open and be who I am without hiding.)

And this is where it’s all about YOU.

Dear beautiful Lights, we hold back so often — fearing we’re too much, or that it’s not safe to show our love!  The truth is you can never be too much, and it is always safe to show your love. (As a stranger once told me and Mark, “you’ll inspire the lovers, and stir up the haters”… and it’s all good.)

Have you noticed?  Our hearts long for permission to love fully and authentically – our dear ones, ourselves, Source, the earth, humanity, life itself…  It actually hurts not to express our love, which is why so many of us numb ourselves with addictions and distractions.

(Yes it can also hurt to open your heart and express your love — but it’s such a good pain, just stretching a tight muscle. ;-p)

What if you allowed yourself the courage to BE the love you are, unabashedly, today? Who would you reach out to? What would you do or say?  I am daring to do that in this moment:  I love you for reading this and maybe commenting below, for sharing my journey, and most of all for being the beautiful expression of Love and Light that you are. It is an honor to have you in my life.

And I’m going to continue celebrating and sharing the love over the next 30 days, with some special events and new opportunities for you as part of my beloved community. Looking forward to connecting with you!


Exactly how I transformed “I am a failure”

I’m going to be ruthlessly honest and vulnerable with you about a topic that is usually taboo:

I woke up early this morning with a familiar feeling of foreboding and heaviness. Usually I try to push it away with meditation, but today I actually listened to it — what is the thought behind this feeling?

Then I heard clearly what I usually push away: “I am a failure. I’m not worth much because I don’t earn much.”  And I felt grateful and excited! Because I KNOW how to remove any block, no matter how huge it seems, once I uncover it.

(Removing all my blocks to having a Soulmate is what allowed me to meet Mark on my first date in 29 years — and have a Soulmate relationship that just keeps deepening, such joy!)

So I got to work and transformed it, using self muscle testing (taught in Video 2: to get clear about exactly what to do and the precise order of the steps.

And I’m going to share them with you, direct from my private journal:

First I said my usual blessing/prayer: “May the benefits flowing to me from this work be freely offered as a prayer for the liberation of all sentient beings. May all beings (including me) be filled with peace, love and joy!”

Step 1.Clarify my overall goal, what I desire to be true in this area:

I AM at peace, knowing and owning my true value, resting in the awareness that I AM always protected and provided for in perfect ways. My life is a beautiful success. I AM learning and evolving all the time, and I AM a beautiful success in every way, including financially.
I AM free to receive abundance and prosperity. I AM happy, peaceful and at ease with myself and others in regards to money, no matter how much or how little I have. Money is a neutral topic for me.

Step 2: Work needs to include Karmic Contract Cleansing/Rewriting (re: equating self-worth with $$) and a Stressful Situation Alignment.

Step 3: My system needs to translate this goal for the subconscious mind:

What I will SEE when it’s true:

1. I look at bank statement, or total of my debt, with smiling, peaceful, softly radiant face.

2. I’m talking with B about finances, computer open or holding papers with numbers, and both are smiling at each other and laughing, clearly enjoying each other’s company, leaning in toward each other

3. Image of myself as a being of Light — dressed in white toga-like Ancient Greek chiton, light radiating all around me in golden glow, every crease and fold, every part of my body inside and out glowing with golden-white light

4. See myself in the bathroom mirror, as did after I led first big Treasure Mapping workshop at Light on the Hill, looking deep into my own eyes with profound recognition and tears of joy.

What I will HEAR when it’s true:

1. Me telling Mark (or someone else) “Oh, now I see!” followed by insight: “this was just part of …” or “this is what was missing…”

2. Client says “I am excited to do this work with you!” and tells me their cc info for $10,000 sale

3. I say to myself “thank God, thank God, I’m free at last!”

4. Hallelujah chorus

Feeling when it’s true: Gratitude. Fulfillment. Peace. Joy.

Where feel it in my body: heart radiating upwards in a cone, and as rings of light spreading out from me. (Like presence of my Guardian Council) Tears in corners of eyes, huge smile on my face, rush of feeling… so grateful!

temp & color: warm; golden & blue (cerulean blue turning to deeper blue of midsummer day)

shape as above (cone and rings like tree rings but moving outward)

texture: like fine sand sifting through my fingers in a steady flow

smell: fresh-baked bread

taste: cinnamon sugar on toast

Step 4: A belief is needed for this overall goal, must be created from scratch. Aligning this belief will align ALL the other beliefs needed for this goal. The belief is:

My sense of self-worth is always based on the Truth of Who I Am.

Step 5: My system needs to translate this belief for the subconscious mind:

What I will SEE when it’s true:

1. I am sleeping peacefully through the night — bedside clock hands spinning around 6, 7, 8 hours in time lapse, my body shifts around, but long periods of stillness and I don’t wake up

2. I look at bank  & credit card statements with slight smile and smooth, unfurrowed brow.

3. I sit or stand with hands crossed over my heart and head bowed to heart

What I will HEAR when it’s true:

1. I say to myself in mirror, “I love you, sweetheart”

2. I say “thank you!” to God

3. soprano singing, melodic and rich sound with piano accompaniment — music composed by my dad?

 Feeling when it’s true:  Love and gratitude

Where feel it in my body: at heart and forehead — third eye. It’s warm, purple light.

Shape: 2 radiating circles, 1 at heart 1 at third eye. Centers are blacked out, like solar eclipse, so can see corona — purple glow with lighter energy currents forking out from center

texture: tingly, like electric current, even little unpleasant

smell: beef broth

taste: rich, nourishing beef broth (resisted this cuz I’m vegetarian ;-p)


Step 7: There is an alignment needed: #22, Karmic Contract Cleansing & Rewriting

Current contract:I am a failure. I can’t earn much because I’m not worth much.”

(It’s a contract I think my mom holds too, also many other women in my lineage and in the world; it’s what’s behind the previous contract I uncovered, “I need a man to protect and provide for me”)

Contract has blackened, blasted surface — charred wood tablet or plaque.

Is to be cleansed with water. In imaginal journey see myself dropping it into the depths of the Pacific ocean, it slowly sinks down and down. I’m afraid it will take a long time to dissolve… But I see it disintegrates very quickly, the cold water soothes the burned wood, and soon it is just thin strands of organic material that are ready to be consumed by fish or to fertilize new life.

I imaginally allow violet fire (like I saw in the corona of my heart and third eye chakras) to thoroughly clean and purify me and the place where my contracts are stored, rewriting and rewiring all that needs to be transformed.

New contract emerges to replace the old:  “I know who I am.”

Alignment is completed and saved.

Celebration: Spontaneous “Hallelujah, hallelujah indeed!” as I read over the goal and muscle test it, clapping my hands in delight.

New action that’s possible now: to share my ‘secret’ block, and this transformation, without shame!

If you want to experience the profound transformation of YOUR blocks — permanently, in minutes, no matter how entrenched they are — GUARANTEED! — I invite you to apply for the opportunity to receive a free, private Discovery Session with me.
In your Discovery Session we’ll explore what you are needing and what’s possible, and together discover the single most important thing for you to do to move forward with power.

Apply here

Fereshta’s Story — the incredible, inspiring power of getting clear

I want to share a true story that moves and inspires me.

It’s a reader’s story, someone I’ve never met, whose life was transformed by 1 of the exercises we’ll be doing in Sunday’s workshop, “Crystal Clear for the New Year: A Soul-Guided Journey to Your Deep Truth“.

Her name is Fereshta. She first wrote me back on July 5:

Fereshta Ramsey, singer-songwriter & peace activist

Hello Pamela,

My name is Fereshta and I came across your work from the lovely Daphne Cohn!

I wanted to thank you personally for this beautiful exercise of clarity that you have gifted us with.

I’ve been stuck in a rut of a thousand great ideas for a while now.  As a singer, songwriter and peace activist, there are so many ways I can share my gifts.  Everyone tells me, to get a following, I need to play dive bars to semi-interested strangers.  Well I’ve done that and found very little joy in it.

Having just gone through the 5 senses to clarity exercise, I saw that the brightest beacon for joy in my heart, right now, is to go home to the motherland (Afghanistan) and teach songwriting as a healing modality for catharsis, the release of toxic emotions in the body and for freedom of self-expression.

I could see myself standing in front of a classroom full of children, walking the isles and teaching them songwriting, grading papers and tutoring students.  I could hear children’s laughter, my name pronounced correctly in the mothertongue (there is thrill to this I cannot fully explain!  when you never hear your name pronounced correctly, it almost feels like you don’t exist), lots of gregarious conversations in Dari.  I could feel the warm pink glow in my heart with golden sparkles shimmering all about, feeling warm, relaxed, connected, purposeful, alive and in spirit.  It feels like velvet to the touch, with a soft silk lining, like the velvet jackets worn by musicians, poets and revolutionaries in the 60’s.  It tasted like chocolate, almonds and green tea with cardamom and smelled like a rose garden fully in bloom.

So thank you, because this clarity after months of soul-searching is an incredibly sacred gift.  It may not be what everyone is telling me to do (tour, perform, make money) but it is the experience and contribution my soul longs for most at this time.

With peace, love and blessings,


In September Fereshta wrote me again:

Dear Pamela,

I hope this finds you well and inspired by your days!

I wanted to followup with you and let you know that my vision is expanding.  For years now, I have been struggling to “make it” as a rockstar here in LA.  Despite an incredibly determined (immigrant) work ethic, nothing has moved forward in my career and I have been incredibly frustrated.  When I finally did play a show at the Roxy on Sunset (a dream come true), I could FEEL in the core of my being that something was truly missing.  The idea of playing to hundreds or even thousands of semi-interested, mostly drunk strangers who just wanted to party felt so out of alignment with the impact I wanted to make as a healer and a peace activist.

When the gift of your clarity work so beautifully found its way to me, I was able to see and FEEL something so sacred in returning home and helping the war babies of my country heal and empower themselves through music just as I did.  It is a far more humbling call than the arenas I longed to play when I began this journey, yet it inspires me to the marrow and infuses me with such a deep sense of contribution and aliveness.

Since then, I’ve begun focusing my efforts on peace and humanitarian work.  It’s been so life-giving to align myself with like-hearted companions who share the same intention and moral imperative to unify our human family and revision humanity so that it works for all!

I was limiting my soul by thinking I could only be a musician.  I was limiting my soul by focusing on “making it” in LA.  Now I have this deep, sweet knowing that being a teacher, role model, poet, activist, musician and global healer are all part of my destiny in this lifetime.  

I began as a shy poet girl and thought the top of the mountain would be singing and performing at the Roxy.  After all, Tori Amos, Miles Davis and Bob Marley all sang on that stage!  And for that shy girl, who was scared to death of being in front of an audience, that stage was the end goal.

However, when I reached the top of that mountain, I sensed more deeply that another mountain was waiting.  For me now, that is the children.  That is teaching and sharing my story in a way that benefits and contributes to others.  And I sense later that it may be global leadership and global solutions as an activist!

I would love to meet you one day and hopefully do that interview.  I just spoke at my first elementary school to a room full of 5th graders, and they were so curious and full of questions, learning about the plight of children in Afghanistan and wanting to know how they could help.  It was such a moving experience to see children wanting to make the world better, with such open-hearted love.  🙂

Peace, love and blessings,


Now Fereshta just sent me a wonderful update on December 31:

Dearest Pamela,

I hope this finds you well and inspired by the promises of a new year!

I just had to write you and let you know my grant application has been approved!  I don’t know if you remember, but I wrote you a few months ago after listening to one of your exercises, and having the realization that I am needed in the motherland (Afghanistan) to nurture and support the war children, and to show them a path through music and self-expression that can become their healing modality and life-giving art form.  Well, my grant application was approved and I’ll not only be going there for a summer residency and songwriting masterclass, but I’ll actually be paid a teacher’s salary which I was totally not expecting!!!

I am OVER THE MOON excited to see this dream manifest so effortlessly.  It seriously required about four emails and some patience on my party, and the Universe said a loud and resounding “Yes!”  

I’ve had so many rejections in the LA rock arena, and yet I sensed even then, despite my frustrations, that I was being redirected to something better, something deeper and way more meaningful to my soul and the journey she longs to create!

So thank you, a million thank yous!!!

Wishing you immense joy, deep satisfaction and peaceful bliss!

Pretty darn inspiring, don’t you agree? Plus Fereshta writes so beautifully…

Find out more and connect with Fereshta at

See  Fereshta’s inspiring “Global Nation” video here:

Fereshta will be getting even more clarity and transformation in this Sunday’s “Crystal Clear for the New Year” online workshop. Will you?

Join us — save your seat now

Love and blessings,

P.S. Nothing is more fun and fulfilling for me than to help people access their own deep wisdom. The clarity you seek is within you, longing to be heard!

Click here to Get Crystal Clear for the New Year: A Soul-Guided Journey to Your Deep Truth

How to get Crystal Clear for the New Year

Dr. Pamela Moss, The Soul Guide

I’m feeling called to get clear for the New Year – how about you?  There’s a powerful process I’m taking myself through to get deep clarity, and I thought I’d invite you to do it along with me.

In a hurry? Click here

The New Year always feels like a chance to start fresh, doesn’t it?  To wake up our hearts a bit more. To allow in all the new possibilities that our minds are slow to see at other times. And most of all to get clear about what we truly want – both to change and let go of, and to attract and receive.

Why is getting clear SO important?  Well, crystal clarity is what allows us to manifest what we desire with ‘miraculous’  ease – as I’ve seen over and over with my clients and in my own life. Like when I went through a clarity process back in March to manifest my beloved soul mate Mark (right) — on my first date in 28 years. And now we just got engaged!

“Clarity is divinity” too, as wise friend of mine says, and it’s true: to be crystal clear is to be connected to our deep Truth – the divine within – and the peace and power that brings.

When we lack clarity, on the other hand, we feel confused, overwhelmed, frustrated, unsettled, stuck. We have a hard time focusing, and procrastinate and can’t make decisions. This can lead to relentlessly criticizing and second-guessing ourselves, and/or complaining about others or our situation. Yuck… (I’ve been there, I know!)

The New Year is such a magical time to get clear!  So I invite you to join me this Sunday to start 2014 right:

Crystal Clear for the New Year:  

A Soul-Guided Journey to Your Deep Truth

BRAND NEW Transformational Online Workshop! 

with Dr. Pamela Moss, The Soul Guide

Sunday, January 5 2014

2pm EST, 11am PST, 8pm CET

In this guided, interactive online workshop you will:

  • See where you are now in your life  (the start of any transformation)
  •  Get present to what you authentically WANT, so you can begin to manifest it
  • Receive insight, healing, and guidance from your own inner wisdom right on the call (Amazing! Beautiful! Profound! Not to be missed)
  •   Discover what you need to focus on in 2014 for your highest and best good
  • Uncover what’s in your way — and what you can do about it
  • See YOUR next indicated step. Then it’s up to you to take it!


I’m so excited to offer this brand-new interactive ONLINE workshop  — you can participate from anywhere in the world! — and I promise that no matter what you’re dealing with, or what you’re up to, if you come with an open mind this soul-guided journey truly will help you start 2014 with clarity, inspiration and power.

Plus it’s RIDICULOUSLY affordable…

Find out more & grab your ticket here 

Love and blessings,
Pamela's signature



P.S. I’ve wanted to be able to offer you something like this — powerful work directly with me, accessible to everyone no matter where you live or what your budget is — for years. Here it is!
Save your seat now

I am feeling SO inspired and grateful!
People from all over the world — across the USA, Canada, India, Singapore, UK, Philippines, South Africa, Australia, Germany, France, Denmark, Netherlands & Italy (so far) — have signed up for the NEW webinar I’m offering tomorrow:

Discover Your Breakthrough Zone:

3 Keys to Unlock Your Deep Clarity

& Manifest Your Heart’s Desires

Thursday July 11


In this F.R.E.E. transformational webinar you will discover:

  • What’s really going on when we feel stuck, confused or lost — and how to find your Breakthrough Zone, no matter what you’re dealing with!
  • The 3 keys to break through your upset and stuckness to unlock your deep clarity and joy, so you can manifest your heart’s desires
  • The exact steps to get clear about what you most want (it’s NOT what you think!)
  • The beautiful tool that effortlessly maintains your focusand supercharges your results
  • How to use the power of your subconscious mind to create ‘miracles’ – new openings for action where it had seemed impossible
And more…  Bring an area you’ve been struggling with, and EXPERIENCE a BREAKTHROUGH right on the call!
Join us to get clear!  Click here
And wouldn’t you know it, just putting that out there made me start noticing where I’m STUCK and needing a breakthrough myself.
What I noticed: I’ve been trying to figure out how to meet a financial goal, and doing lots of stuff that “should” work — but it hasn’t been working the way I thought. The message I keep getting is that I need to “trust absolutely” that it will be fulfilled. But how can I do that without knowing how?
I can’t; my mind simply refuses.
What I CAN do:  surrender and allow. Let go and allow myself to receive support, guidance, surrender financial abundance. Surrender to the truth that the source of my supply is the Divine — not my fearful, busily strategizing mind.
And since I live so much in my mind, practice this in my body — literally lie down and say aloud, “I surrender! I allow myself to receive what I desire. I have NO IDEA how it will happen. I surrender; thy will not mine.”  And open my heart…
I’ve been doing this a lot… letting all the stored-up frustration, compassion, anxiety, love and gratitude flow through me as tears.  Feeling my heart open and vibrate deep within. Having one powerful, authentic conversation after another today. Preparing for our call tomorrow.
Mostly I’m experiencing, more than ever before, the peace and clarity of truly surrendering to Source. This is more than a “breakthrough” — it’s a whole paradigm shift!
(Thanks to my wonderful coach Vandya who guided me to see this!  We all need powerful support to be our best, which is why coaches and spiritual guides invest in having coaches & spiritual guides… And to dear friends Jana and my beloved Mark who’ve helped as)
SO: want some powerful support to get clear and have YOUR own breakthrough?

Perk: I’ll also be giving away valuable prizes (truly valuable, like popular courses and tickets to events) to those who are on the call live… Can’t be there live? Sign up to get the recording.

Truly, I can’t wait to share this with you!
Love and blessings,

Pamela's signature


Grief, joy & transformation

I thought I was done grieving the end of my marriage.

We did all the work to separate last November with love and honor, and thoroughly processed everything after that. It felt complete.

But the way my new sweetheart/soul mate Mark truly sees me, how he’s so there for me in every way, the deep shining JOY of our love, has paradoxically driven up all the unexpressed grief and loneliness of the last years in my marriage. (How many times did I sob into a pillow, so no one would hear?)

art by Anne Keneill

Yesterday I asked Mark to help me release this old grief from my body.  I could feel it lodged in my throat like a lump of unshed tears, and intuited that if he held me and witnessed me as I physically released it, it need never return.

After a wonderful dinner last night, it seemed ridiculous and artificial to turn to grieving; but I recognized that was just my mind’s resistance to doing the work we’d committed to. So even though I was feeling quite happy, I lay down beside him and willed the tears to come.

And it was shocking how the grief — without memories or reasons or any thought, just physical sensations and intense energy — was right there, stored in my throat and belly. At first I could hardly make a sound; my voice was literally caught in my throat. I asked my guidance to help me. As Mark held me and whispered “I’m here for you,” gut-wrenching sobs began to come out. They were so strong it was more like violently retching than crying.

Soon that phase passed. (Mark later revealed that he’d been energetically pulling the grief up and out of my body as he rubbed my back. Among his many other gifts, he’s a powerful, intuitive energy healer. Lucky me!)

Next I was guided to lie on my belly and have Mark press all his weight into the area of my back, over my heart. I could feel a release of the past (the back is what’s behind us…) and then I had him pull my arms back, so my head and chest lifted up off the ground. As my chest expanded, I could feel my heart opening again…. ahhhhh.

Finally I asked Mark to inhale any remaining grief he could sense in me. (He’d told me how he discovered that he absorbed people’s sadness when he hugged them, without harm to himself.) As he breathed it off me, I felt lighter and lighter. Soon I was giggling with joy and gratitude.

There was one last thing to do:  suddenly I felt inspired to sing “Amazing Grace”. My voice, stopped-up and broken just minutes before, came out strong and rich, and Mark joined in. Complete harmony. An experience of amazing grace…

The healing was complete.

Why am I telling YOU all this?  Because I’m making a transformational gift for you.

Your gift isn’t ready yet — you’ll be hearing about it in a few days — but I want to give you a head’s up that something wonderful is coming.

Hint: My gift for you involves powerful, practical tools for moving through life’s challenges.  (The same transformational tools that led me to quickly and permanently release old grief. That helped me move through every challenge I’ve faced these past couple years — money worries, growing my business, attracting ideal clients and awesome support, ending a 28 year marriage, finding an ideal home, finding a soul mate, experiencing spiritual union — with a good bit of grace and ease. And powerful results.)

Coming soon!

Love and blessings,

Pamela's signature

P.S. Watch your inbox.  These are tools that up until now I’ve only shared with my private clients… I am truly excited and joyful to share this gift with you.

How I Found My Soul Mate (on my 1st Date in 29 Years!)

Just over 2 weeks ago I went on my first date in 29 years. And found the soul mate I’d been longing for!

It seems like a miracle, and you may be wondering “how did THAT happen?”

Well, the first date was rather shocking: Mark and I met a couple of weeks earlier on eHarmony and had gotten to know each other online, but when he walked into the cafe and our eyes met for the first time:  CRACK! We both felt the jolt of electricity.

Which really surprised me… Because he’s fairly short, and I’d always told myself, “I’m only attracted to tall men.” Yet there we were, beaming at each other as we talked:  Such a fascinating person! So attractive and sympatico! And that magnetic pull… my body was reacting in an undeniable way. Clearly my old ‘rule’ was gone, and I no longer needed a big guy to feel protected…

I noticed I had other outdated relationship ‘rules’ too, like “go slow” and “play it cool, girlfriend!” I ignored them as well, and did what my heart wanted: I invited him to go dancing the very next night — my birthday.

The birthday celebration began with my daughters and women friends joining me for a mandala-painting party, and then I went off to meet Mark at “Ecstatic Dance.”

No, we did not look like this, but you get the feeling…

I got there late, but we quickly found each other in the throng of people on the huge, dark dance floor .

We hugged hello, and somehow that hug never ended…

Later, a friend who was there told me she’d kept trying to get my attention, dancing around us and waving, but we never noticed her. (Or anything else. In fact we were quite surprised when the lights went up and everyone else was sitting in a big circle: When did the dancing and music stop?!) She described it as, “you two looked like you were melting into each other.

The melting continues… Words can’t convey how sexy and exciting and intellectually stimulating and heart-opening and JOYOUS this mutual unfolding is. I’m so grateful!

Yet it’s not really true that it “seems like miracle”. (Or at least not any more than life in general is a miracle.)

I’m clear that meeting my soul mate on my first date was the direct and inevitable result of work I did to prepare myself and call him in (plus divine grace).

So here’s how this REALLY happened:

Before you can have a ‘soul mate’ relationship with another, you must have a ‘soul mate’ relationship with yourself, and also with Source (your soul’s true mate).

I’d spent 8 years working through core issues in my marriage, culminating in a separation after 28 years together last November. This work not only healed the hurt and resentment between me and my former husband, it also healed my relationship with myself:

I got on a deep level that I really do deserve to be happy, and that I am enough and whole and holy, just as I am. I also got that it’s my responsibility to live a life I love and follow my calling. (I’d thought my husband and my financial situation “wouldn’t let me;” but there never was and never could be anything to stop me, once I set my mind and my heart on answering that inner call.)

In fact when I stopped listening to my fears and started consistently following my own trusted guidance, I discovered that I am always supported and guided to be happy, healthy, fulfilled and in service to life. Experiencing this over and over has greatly strengthened my relationship with Source.

(All of this is true for YOU, too. And possible for everyone on the planet, no matter how it seems. One of the things I love to do in my work is help people really get this for themselves.)

If YOU are interested in finding a soul mate, there were several additional, specific steps I took to align for this result and literally call him into my life. Just comment on this post and I’m happy to tell you what worked.

Also love to hear your thoughts or “how we met” stories… Your feedback is especially appreciated when I go out on a limb like this to share my personal life!


Love and blessings,

P.S. Sneak preview: We’ll be delving into the whole juicy topic of relationships when I interview my wise friend, international life coach Sonia Miller, about “What It REALLY Takes to Create and Sustain Fulfilling Male-Female Relationships.” Watch your inbox for an invitation to listen in!

My Wish for You

I love having you in my life. And I want to share a little personal inspiration with you:

9 months ago was a low point in my life. My 28 year marriage was coming apart; my business was overwhelming; our cluttered, run-down home depressed me; I worried I wasn’t a good mom; and I felt like a fake – pretending I had it all together when really I was scared, sad and confused.

Yet something inside kept reassuring me: “You’re on the right path, even though it doesn’t feel like it. You have all the tools and support you need to create the life of your dreams. Keep doing your work on yourself, keep getting support to be your best.”

Today I’m so grateful to realize: wow, this IS the life of my dreams! Sure I still have dreams (I’m ready to start dating…) but so much that seemed impossible then is here now:

  • sweet friendships with my former husband & daughters;
  • great clarity in my business & stellar support to grow big;
  • working much less and having much better results;
  • exciting projects (writing The Soul Guide to a Magical Life, creating new programs & events to serve you, major artwork, travel) livingroom in new home
  • beautiful home that nurtures me & everyone who visits — friends, family, clients, women’s group, yoga class, VIP Retreat Day private clients;
  • fun collaborations with amazing partners.

I sure am glad I never gave up on my calling and my dreams!

My wish for you is that YOU never give up either, and truly live the life of your dreams. And it may be much closer than you think: 2013 is the year for many of us to step into our work, our power and our potential as never before.

Fix your mind and heart on the best, surround yourself with the best, learn from the best, and become the best!

Love and blessings,

 Pamela's signature

What Do You Want?

It’s the season of giving, but let’s take a moment to talk about what you WANT.

Yesterday I was struck again by how powerful it is to simply declare what you want.  It was just a small thing (actually a small, furry thing…) yet such a clear example:


My daughter Cora and I were at the SPCA animal shelter — we’ve both wanted a cat for years, but Brian is allergic.  Now that Brian and I have separated and I have my own place, we could finally get a cat!

We’d been looking at cats for almost 2 hours…

Heather, the SPCA adoption specialist, had showed us ALL the cats in ALL the cages, plus we’d already visited the sweet cat a neighbor was giving away. I would have picked several, but Cora wasn’t satisfied with any…

At last I asked her, somewhat exasperated,
“honey, what do you want in a cat?”


She described her perfect kitty“I don’t want a cat, I want a cute kitten… I want it to be a lap-cat but also playful, with short hair so it doesn’t shed, not skittish, really friendly & curious & smart but also mellow & sweet…”

It was a long and rather contradictory list, but I added to it:  “If we get a kitten, I want it to be old enough so it’s already trained to use a litter box & not claw up furniture.”

Sounded like a tall order…

But just in case, as we headed out I told Heather our whole list. Maybe she could notify us if a cat like that came in.

Instead, she pointed us to an area we somehow hadn’t seen.

There in the back of the room, away from all the cages and people, a volunteer was cuddling a little cat. “This kitty’s sister was adopted today, so she’s feeling sad,” the volunteer explained.

Cora sat down.  The kitten walked onto her lap and started purring. Cora melted.  “Oh, her name is ‘Sugarplum!'” she exclaimed. “It’s a sign!” (Cora is dancing in the Nutcracker ballet, where the Sugarplum Fairy is the prima ballerina…)

In fact the little cat exactly fit our “long & contradictory” description, and we both fell in love. She’s absolutely PURRFECT!  (Sorry, couldn’t resist ;-p)

Reminded me of how ‘magically’ I found my ideal apartment…

What’s going on here?
“I want …” is one of THE most powerful things you can say, right up there with “I AM …” or a heart-felt “I love you.”

You might be thinking, “Well, I’ve thought a LOT about what I want , but I haven’t gotten it!

Here are 5 tips to help “I want” turn into a ‘magical’ result:

* Don’t just think about it. DECLARE it, in writing or by telling someone.

Want something very specific? (like a cat or apartment) BE Specific — list all the details.   Then let go of thinking about it, just trust it will work out… But when you get an inspiration, act on it. (Like, “Before we go, I’ll just tell Heather exactly what we want in case a cat like that turns up later.”)

Want something vague?  (like a ‘soul mate’ or ‘perfect’ job or ‘great’ body)  Specify the exact experience you desire, the essence of how you want to feel and be… Then let go of thinking about it, just trust it will work out… But as you get inspirationact on it.

* Want more time or money? They’re just stand-ins for what you really want. Get clear: what do you want them for?  What would having them allow you to do or be?  That’s what you really desire.

Don’t think you want anything? Unless you’ve reached the Buddhist nirvana of non-attachment, to be alive is to desire — if not material things, or sex, then to make a greater contribution, heal relationships, know God, be more present etc.

So if you’re not in touch with YOUR wants, turn your “wanter” on!  Listen to your heart’s desires. What do you deep-down long for ?  Write it down, then have the courage to follow that pure intention and take inspired action. As I can personally attest, it may feel terrifying, but it leads to unimaginable growth, happiness and fulfillment.

Oh, and listening for heart’s desires can also help you give the most magical gifts. ;-p

All the best to you this holiday season!
Love and blessings,
Pamela's signature



P.S. Do your deepest desires make you feel sad, guilty, or angry?  You probably think it’s hopeless… If you’d like to change that or have questions (or comments!), please comment below and I’ll reply.


Why I’m Separating (Very Personal)

My husband Brian and I are separating after 28 years together and raising 2 lovely teen daughters.

Next week I’m moving into a beautiful new apartment — and into the next phase of my life. As you might imagine, I feel a complicated mix of emotions: excitement, grief, gratitude, fear, joy. But mainly relief and peace.

Yesterday Brian and I sat down with our wedding rings, which we’d removed last week with our daughters. (Still feels weird to have ‘naked’ fingers…) We talked about what the rings mean to us, and what we’ll each do with ours now.

We found ourselves holding hands as we talked, remembering the good times, appreciating each other, tearing up (me), speculating about future partners and new directions, smiling… It was very sweet.

So if it’s very sweet, why are we separating?

In some ways, the seed of this separation was there from the beginning, back when I was 23 and subconsciously decided that to be with funny, brilliant, super-rational Brian, I had to bury the part of me that yearns for God and deep connection.

For 20 years it stayed buried as we traveled, worked, wrote books and ‘unschooled’ our daughters. Then it suddenly re-emerged one April day 8 years ago, when I did a transformational program called The Landmark Forum. A period of tremendous growth and change began, as I kept following that powerful inner urging into new realms and discovered my calling and  gifts I never knew I had.

In the process I also became someone Brian would never have married… and someone who could not be happy with him. That has greatly pained us both.

Over these past 8 years, we’ve both worked really hard on our marriage.  So when we finally realized, “We’re done,” we also realized “It’s no one’s fault.”  (Which was a huge relief after processing much resentment and pain…) We created the intention to separate with love, honor, and mutual respect – and always be good friends and partners in parenting our girls.

I have to say, even though we’d worked toward this point for 8 years and knew it was the right decision, the prospect of actually ending our marriage NOW was really scary and sad.

I had so many fears (like “I’ll be ALONE!” “How will the $$ work out?!” “I can’t take care of myself!”) and doubts (“he’s a good man, a great dad, and we get along well – what am I doing leaving?!”) and guilt (“I’m so selfish, prioritizing my calling and my happiness over my family!” “I’m a bad mom, and a bad partner”). The worst part for both me and Brian was worrying about how our daughters would react to the news…

These fears and doubts were so strong they kept waking me up at night.

Fortunately I knew how to do deep work with my trusted guidance and the fearful, doubting parts of me.  And ever since Brian and I agreed to separate, I’ve done a LOT of that work — much of it in the middle of the night. 😉

The results have been almost miraculous:
  • The painful arguments that Brian and I had for years simply disappeared.


  • We became generous and compassionate with each other (Brian led the way), even in dividing up our belongings and deciding who’d pay for what. No lawyers or mediators needed; it was easy.
  • new apartment

    my new apartment, freshly painted

    I made a long list of everything I wanted in an ideal apartment. (Thanks for the idea, Danielle!)  The first — and only — apartment I looked at met every one of my criteria.

  • The apt. lease started Sept. 1, but I didn’t want to move in until Nov. 1… Signed the lease anyway because the place is PERFECT and I didn’t want to lose it.  Then the landlord ended up making so many improvements for me that the apt. won’t be ready until Nov. 1…  So no Sept. & Oct. rent after all. 🙂


  • Shortly after we decided to separate, Brian unexpectedly inherited a houseful of furniture and kitchen supplies, which he generously shared with me to furnish the apartment. Pretty amazing timing…


  •  Brian and I really worried about how to tell our daughters that we were separating. We tried to prepare for anger, grief, upset, drama… But when we finally told them, it was anti-climatic: they just weren’t that upset. They asked questions, we answered, and then they started joking: “Whatever you do, you’d better not marry [x and y, obnoxious acquaintances]!” We all ended up laughing and hugging.


  • Brian’s expanding too — clearing out decades of junk from our house (now his), going out more, getting more writing done, even taking up ballet. (Go Brian!)


In short: the entire separation process has turned out to be much easier and happier for our whole family than I ever imagined it could be.

What I’ve learned:
  •  Whenever I feel fear & doubt, I need to check it out right away with my trusted guidance and the subconscious parts of me that create anxiety. The more I’ve faced all my fears and done the inner work needed to feel safe and confident, the more whole I’ve become – a deep healing within that’s allowed me to be my highest self even in challenging situations and to let go of the need to control. (I’ve never really been in control anyway…)


  • The more I’ve connected with, trusted and followed my inner guidance, the more the way has opened up before me, providing all I need to step into the next phase of my life.     For example:


  • I’ve been very quiet in my business, yet I’m attracting my ideal clients – we happen to meet at yoga, or in a parking lot, or they’re referred by former clients, or an old acquaintance suddenly reaches out from another continent… It’s effortless. (And it used to be hard work!)


    • attracted a business ‘assistant’ who’s so much more – Marisa is a visionary catalyst, soul friend, workhorse, and true partner in expanding my business. What a blessing to have her on board!


    • hired my friend Martha Jane, a design genius, who’s helping me create a magically beautiful environment in my new apartment.  I can already feel how expansive it will be to live in such beauty, comfort, and full self-expression…


  • gained deep clarity and confidence about who I am, what I’m here to do, who I serve, and what my message is. The increased power of the work is reflected in my clients’ transformations – and my own. (Recently a highly capable client asked to become my apprentice… which tells me I’ve reached a new level of mastery in my work.)


Above all, I’ve learned that the divine in us is real and will not be denied. We’re all waking up to this more and more… The awakening for many, including me, is painful – our deep desire to be authentic conflicts with our ego’s strong need for safety and control. But there is no greater safety than to rest in God (or whatever you call your guidance) and surrender to your destiny. What is essential will be preserved through any trial.

Right now many of us are casting off what no longer works — in relationships, business, politics — everywhere. That’s the calling now, to tune in to our own trusted guidance and cast off what no longer serves, so we can step into doing what we’re here to do and be our highest selves.

For me, it’s been both scary and beautiful to ‘cast off’ a marriage that no longer serves.

The beauty and the fear were in my perception – the reality is simply that it was necessary. To resist any longer would have prolonged and deepened unnecessary suffering. Once I accepted this truth, it opened doors I could not open any other way.

Now I’m walking through those doors. Finally free to fly…

I’m so grateful for all of it!

Next week I’ll be sharing how you can access YOUR trusted guidance more deeply. It’s the single most important thing you can do to be happier, healthier, more peaceful, more fulfilled, and have ‘magical’ and ‘miraculous’ outcomes in your life.

Love and blessings,


The Hidden Gift?

I’m back now from my vacation in Alaska and California, where I experienced deep JOY — and also complete CONFUSION.

There was JOY in being with my dear Alaskan sister Coowe (left), who I love and miss very much.

And JOY in going on a 5 hour horseback expedition with her — even though I hadn’t ridden a horse since I was 12 (and I was scared of horses Pamela on horseback in Alaskathen).  This time it was exhilarating to canter across the tidal flats!

There was JOY too in savoring fresh California peaches, watching the fog roll into San Francisco Bay, and connecting with heart friends and family I hadn’t seen in ages.

I even found JOY trying to sleep on an air mattress that kept collapsing!  (Eventually you just have to giggle and accept sleeping on the floor…)

However I found it much harder to accept the profound CONFUSION I felt talking to 2 estranged sisters.

Sister A told me that Sister B rejected her and stopped talking to her over some slights from childhood. Sounded plausible enough….

Then Sister B told me Sister A wasn’t normal and wouldn’t communicate no matter how hard Sister B tried. Sister B really seemed really believable — but her account contained shocking revelations.

My head swam:  How can this be??  It goes against everything I’ve been told… But my gut feels she’s right…
The cognitive dissonance was so strong I literally couldn’t think

And it reminded me of 2 earlier experiences where I’d been stunned by new information that called into doubt everything I’d believed (and wanted to believe)…

Then on my first day back home, IT HAPPENED AGAIN!  

 I experienced the exact same mental CONFUSION — “How can this be??” — when someone at my bank confidently gave me wrong information about a disputed bill.  Panicked, I acted on it, only to discover later that there was a completely different (and more plausible) interpretation of the facts.

I felt quite chagrined. “OK, what’s going on…” I wondered.

(Could it had something to do with wanting to see only the positive in people and trust them?  And my impatience and impulsiveness?)

I decided I’d better ask myself a powerful question:

“What is the hidden GIFT or lesson here?”

If you have any ‘negative’ patterns of your own, this question is great to work with.

And what I uncovered was so unexpectedly beautiful,  I want to share it with you:

Direct from my private journal

Notes: “TG” = “Trusted Guidance,” what I call my soul’s voice in me. “Alignment” = process to quickly create deep & lasting change on a subconscious level.

Pamela Moss PamelaCan you tell me about the lessons & gifts from these 2 experiences?

soul guide symbol by Pamela Moss TG:  Of course. You already intuit the lesson/gift: as you step into deeper trust and connection, it must be balanced with deeper discernment & appropriate boundaries. You cannot serve at a higher level without this. In the bigger picture, everything is about balance and right order.

P: Great. So is the best way to get this discernment to do an alignment?

TG: Are you open and willing now to be discerning and to set appropriate boundaries — by checking in with your own guidance system?

P. Yes, I’m finally ready & willing, for the first time in my life, I think.

TG: Then you may do the deep magic [= alignment]. Do it now.

P: OK!  [joyous]

P: My Goal/belief statement:  I now claim my powers of discernment to see warning signs & inconsistencies in others’ behavior and communication. My heart is open, & so are my eyes, & my third eye — I now have the clarity & will to set appropriate boundaries & to speak to the hidden lie, as an expression of divine love & personal power. I am an adult & can & do take care of myself.

[I select an alignment called “Sacred Object”, where you look around to see an object that stands out to you: it has a message for you. You look at it until you receive/intuit/imagine the message.]

What immediately jumps out at me is a lamp without a shade, just a bare energy-efficient bulb. It is very bright.

As I gaze at it I see it has 2 coils, and is too bright to look at easily, just a bright blob. But as I keep looking I realize: “I CAN discern the details, more and more, the more I look.”

I get the message: “You are like this coil and this lamp.”

The more I look, the more clearly I can see the details of the coil, and also the distinct aura around it.  The after-image creates a blind spot before my eyes — but I can see through it, too, as I write. The lamp base is tall and curvy. This lamp is shining brightly, a beacon. And it stands alone.

I get the message: “I have learned my lesson from Brian [my husband, a quite discerning & cautious man]. I have received the gift from him. I am now ready to stand alone.

[The alignment is complete.]

Final message: “The soul contract Brian and I have with one another is complete.

P: I’m curious — why am I crying?

TG: Release of emotions, letting go.  Let it flow.

[I do, and soon the emotion is gone, leaving a feeling of satisfaction about the work Brian and I have done. “Well done” is the message.]

After doing this alignment, I understood the cognitive dissonance I’d been experiencing: 

Perception is everything, and without balance my mis-perceptions cause a domino effect that leaves me overwhelmed, shut down, and to grasping to be in the moment.

Choose Your Path

The Magic of Gratitude and the Power of Choice

Yesterday I woke up very early, feeling full of fear and doubt. I lay in bed trying to calm myself down, trying to figuring out what I was afraid of and why I couldn’t relax and go back to sleep…. Boy, that sure didn’t help.

Finally I got up to do some journaling with my “trusted guidance,” which is the voice my soul uses to talk to me.  And what happened was so remarkable that I want to share it with you:

Direct from my private journal

Pamela Moss Pamela: I’m feeling fear and doubt and can’t sleep. Dear TG [trusted guidance], can you help? What’s going on? It even seems hard to connect with you…

soul guide symbol by Pamela Moss TG: It seems so. It is not.

P:  So please help me. What’s going on? What do I need to do to go back to sleep?

TG: You know the answer. Sometimes this fear and doubt is just an automatic reaction of your mind. You do not need to  ‘figure it out,’ it is simply a matter of being willing.  Are you willing to experience the profound love,  joy, peace, and harmony that is in your heart right now and always?

P: I want to say yes, but…

TG: What is the ‘but’? What do you have to lose?

P: I think it is a fear of trusting – feeling I must make something happen, I can’t just ‘trust’…

TG: Is that true?

P: No, I could just trust. I am doing all I can to make things happen, and they are happening… I just wish it were easier…

TG: It is easier. You have choice on what to focus on. You are arguing for your smallness and the Illusion. Wake up!

P: Thank you. I am awake.

TGReally wake up! Choose what you want.

P:  What I really want? [A rush of deep feeling…]  I want to love God – purely and completely. I choose to give my heart and my life to serve God in all forms Love leads me to. I choose to be authentic. I choose to be brave. I choose compassion for the human condition we are all born into — and I choose delight that I can divine love and harmony anytime I choose to.  

        I choose to expect goodness — what fun!  I am really taking that one on right now. I can’t wait to see what happens today; there are several beautiful opportunities that I know of, and I choose to expect unexpected goodness, too – surprise me!  Thank you, thank you!

      I choose the freedom to focus on all that is right, rather than what is wrong. I choose gratitude – I’m so grateful to have the capacity to choose! (And I choose to acknowledge David Mumm of for reminding me of the power of choice and his alphabetical affirmations. Thank you David!)

      I choose to trust that you are always there, dear TG, to guide and protect me. I choose that life is a magical adventure. I choose that it is in the highest and best good for all, especially me, to allow myself to trust, to love, and to enjoy the adventure!  I know everything can change in an instant for the better, anytime I choose. Thank you for that miracle!  

      And now I see the gift in my sleeplessness and fear and doubt – another opportunity to practice choosing, and experience this liberation. Thank you!!

TG: Can you now choose to trust that all is truly well, and go back to sleep?

P: I don’t know, I’ll check in with myself to see…

TG: NO, we ask: can you choose it?

P: Yes I can choose it.

TG: Is there any reason not to?

P: [on reflection] No. I choose to trust that all is truly well (and has been, and will be.) I choose as an act of trust to allow myself to relax and fall back to sleep – without effort or trying, just relaxing into the beauty and gratitude of choosing to trust. Thank you. I feel moved! 

And now I am moving myself back up to bed…  [Slept more soundly than I had in days, awoke totally refreshed, had a wonderful day.]

What is going on here?

On a profound level we are all, worldwide, at work on piercing through the veil of  Illusion (fear, doubt, shame, hatred, prejudice, all forms of separation) to remember our true unity and essential nature — the love, light and joy that glows like a jewel in our hearts. Every time each of us awakens to this truth we strengthen the energetic Grid of Light that helps us all grow, heal and evolve.

One of the easiest and most powerful ways to see through the Illusion right NOW is to combine the magic of gratitude and the power of choice.

You can do this as simply as 1, 2, 3:

STEP 1. Scan your thoughts, feeling, and body sensations to notice what is already there.

STEP 2. If what you notice does NOT make you feel good, tell yourself  “I am willing to experience something better” and see if you can allow that to be true. (If you can’t, just notice you’re not willing right now. You can always ask “please help me to be willing,” or try again later.)

STEP 3. If you are willing, actively CHOOSE it now. Write or say aloud, “I choose life is an adventure. I choose to be brave. I choose to be caring.” Feel the truth of each statement as you say it. (This shifts us from fear-and-struggle mode into Love, and changes our perception of reality in a moment).

Bonus: You can strengthen this shift by going through the alphabet — for each letter choose a virtue or possibility that enlivens you, and CHOOSE it. For example:

I choose now (or today) to be:

  • A   authentic
  • B   brave
  •   compassionate
  • D   divining love & harmony
  • E    expecting goodness
  • F    forgiving myself & others
  •   grateful

Try it out, and tell me what happens!

sunflowerAnd if you’re on Facebook, I invite you to join us in sharing what you are grateful for & what you are choosing!

It’s truly inspiring and uplifting to participate in this 365 Days of Gratitude movement, even if you only read what others write…

And I’d love to hear from YOU.

With love and blessings,

Pamela's signature

Dr. Pamela Moss, The Soul Guide

The 3 Critical Keys: Vision-Powered Goals

Three Critical Keys To Success Video Series

Video One: Vision-Powered Goals



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The 3 Critical Keys: Removing Resistance

Three Critical Keys To Success Video Series

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The 3 Critical Keys: Your Circle of Support

Three Critical Keys To Success Video Series

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